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    Embarrassing Moments

    Bishop
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    Post  Bishop on Wed Jun 23, 2010 2:08 am

    Sherrers wrote:I renewed my card at the lido yesterday.

    Did a proper schoolboy error.

    I used to (only maybe 2 years hence) swim like a fish every day. 2 years is just long enough to think nothing has changed but everything has. (actually it is probably just a matter of months)

    Went straight into the fast lane/deep end and other 'out of your depth' gags.

    Lap 3 "ooh this is easy, falling off a log, don't know why I stopped etc etc"

    Lap 4 "ooh feel the burn"

    Lap 4 and a half "I feel sick"

    Lap 5 "Am I the only bloke in here? shit I am"

    Lap 6 "Will...not..be...beaten...by...girl..."

    Lap 7 rubber arms, inhaling water, stopping to 'adjust goggles' etc etc

    Leave pool steaming with embarassment.


    "That was quick" said the helpful cashier... not the good 'quick' associated with sport either...


    Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed


    Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing

    Embarrassing Moments - Page 4 Philip_Morris
    Broadhead
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    Post  Broadhead on Wed Jun 23, 2010 2:10 am

    Laughing

    'He showed off, splashing around.......'
    Sherrers
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    Post  Sherrers on Wed Jun 23, 2010 2:13 am

    I also had a double embarrassing thing seeing my reflection. Forgot how mentally caPTAIN CAAAAVEMAN I look at the moment.

    Big hair. Big beard. Big shorts. Bad look.
    Broadhead
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    Post  Broadhead on Wed Jun 23, 2010 2:15 am

    You missed off 'big splash'

    Laughing
    Ye Olde Rog
    Ye Olde Rog
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    Post  Ye Olde Rog on Wed Jun 23, 2010 2:20 am

    Sherrers wrote:Big hair. Big beard. Big shorts. Small cock
    Bishop
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    Post  Bishop on Wed Jun 23, 2010 2:25 am

    Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing
    Sherrers
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    Post  Sherrers on Wed Jun 23, 2010 2:36 am

    Revenge is a dish best served cold..




    ..and submerged.



    You will pay for that *shakes fist*


    Broadhead
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    Post  Broadhead on Wed Jun 23, 2010 2:38 am

    Embarrassing Moments - Page 4 Oldest-swimmers-title
    mr.a
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    Post  mr.a on Wed Jun 23, 2010 6:46 am

    Bishop wrote:.

    I have a embarrassing tale for you all in the hope it will cheer Timbo and Al up.

    I used to play sunday football, on a sunday, and one saturday me and my mate Al went out clubbing in Nottingham. We had a truly exceptional night and got back to the hotel we were stopping in at 6.30.

    This particular sunday we had said we would not be available for football but we recieved a phone call from Al's brother who was the manager of the sunday team, telling us to get our arses back as they were struggling for a side. So we somehow managed to get sorted drive home and went straight to football which kicked off at 10. We were off our nut.

    So we plays the game and me and Al are fucking brilliant, we are just bombing round the pitch, kicking anyone that moved and we even bagged a couple of goals each from centre half.

    I will get to the embarrassing bit soon promise.

    Games finises and we are both starting to come down abit and I feel very very ropey, we head to the pub and order a pint, I take one sip and shite my kegs. Bollocks.

    So I play it cool and waddle to the bog, straight into a cubicle off with the kegs, wipe my arse. But now im in a quandry, what shall i do with me pants.

    A ha a window in the toilet which is slightly ajar, so i reach up and slip them out the window. Brilliant job done, back to the bar, nobody suspects a damn thing apart from Al who knows eactly where i have been. Al says to me what did you do with your kegs. Shut the fuck up I tell him.

    Everyone has finished their beers so we leave, we step out the door and there looking completely mortified is a table of 4 sat right outside and right under the bog window with my shitty kegs hanging off the corner of the table. Embarassed

    Fucking Al shouts "so thats what ya did with em and high fives me" Embarassed


    lol! Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol!
    Broadhead
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    Post  Broadhead on Fri Jun 25, 2010 12:29 am

    I have just bumped in to one of the senior department managers as i was walking in to the toilets. Not that bad in itself, except i was singing junior Vasquezs 'Get your hands off my man' as i was walking in. I was even singing it in a daft voice, mimicking the song.

    Thank FUCK i am leaving tomorrow.

    Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed
    Sherrers
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    Post  Sherrers on Fri Jun 25, 2010 4:09 am

    Broadhead wrote:I have just bumped in to one of the senior department managers as i was walking in to the toilets. Not that bad in itself, except i was singing junior Vasquezs 'Get your hands off my man' as i was walking in. I was even singing it in a daft voice, mimicking the song.

    Thank FUCK i am leaving tomorrow.

    Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed

    you should have moonwalked into one of the cubicles winking and beckoning...
    Ye Olde Rog
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    Post  Ye Olde Rog on Fri Jun 25, 2010 5:54 am

    Sherrers wrote:

    you should have moonwalked into one of the cubicles wanking and beckoning...
    Bishop
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    Post  Bishop on Fri Jun 25, 2010 7:36 pm

    Ye Olde Rog wrote:
    Sherrers wrote:

    you should have moonwalked into one of the cubicles wanking and beckoning...

    Laughing Laughing Laughing
    bigdaddy
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    Post  bigdaddy on Fri Jun 25, 2010 8:23 pm

    Broadhead wrote:I have just bumped in to one of the senior department managers as i was walking in to the toilets. Not that bad in itself, except i was singing junior Vasquezs 'Get your hands off my man' as i was walking in. I was even singing it in a daft voice, mimicking the song.

    Thank FUCK i am leaving tomorrow.

    Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed

    I hear Junior Vasquez is rocking the flatcap look these days.
    Broadhead
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    Post  Broadhead on Fri Jun 25, 2010 8:27 pm

    He's piled on the weight too Laughing

    I am Wakefields answer to Junior Vasquez.

    Now all i need is to play a 20 hour set of screaming diva's, in a DJ booth with a shower and a kitchen in it. I also need a overblown ego, to throw a hissy fit and then to play oversea's and massively disappoint everyone when they realise i'm not actually any good.
    bigdaddy
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    Post  bigdaddy on Fri Jun 25, 2010 8:47 pm

    Broadhead wrote:I am Wakefields answer to Junior Vasquez.

    And here's Wakefield thinking it hadn't even asked the question.
    Broadhead
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    Post  Broadhead on Fri Jun 25, 2010 8:53 pm

    Laughing

    Wakey doesn't think, it just knows.
    T.B
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    Post  T.B on Fri Jun 25, 2010 9:42 pm

    bigdaddy wrote:
    Broadhead wrote:I am Wakefields answer to Junior Vasquez.

    And here's Wakefield thinking it hadn't even asked the question.


    Laughing Laughing


    oh Daddy!
    crang
    crang
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    Post  crang on Thu Aug 05, 2010 6:51 am

    I,ve mentioned before in this thread about my brothers ongoing search for love via the internet,and the embarressing situations it has got him in

    Well,his latest date is no exception,i shall begin...

    He agrees to meet this woman at eastliegh train station on friday night,when he arrives there he looks around for her,all of a sudden he clocks this woman on the other side of the platform,(by the way he has not seen a photo of his date),she starts calling him over,so he goes over to meet her,although younger looking than he expected,it appears that this is his date,they exchange pleasntrys and go to a local pub,whilst in there she starts getting loads of texts and then disappears,my brother assumes that she just didnt fancy him and had done one,so to speak,he then starts to recieve
    texts on his phone,asking him where he is?,its from the woman who he had arranged the date with!???,yes,he had met the wrong woman at the station Laughing Laughing ,so now he trys to explain to his proper date what had happened!,she finds it all quite funny and says she,ll meet him in the pub,when she gets there(she,s not as pretty as the fake date,and older Laughing )she explains to my brother that she is on medication and cant drink too much,anyway, they have a few beers and the night ends and my bro walks her home,on the way all of a sudden she passes out,falls into the road and bangs her head(she,s out cold),at that time a police car comes by,and they call an ambulance and rush her and my bro to hospital,my bro stays with her for 4 hours!,she gets the ok eventually, and they go back to her house,where upon she says to my bro he can stay the night if he wants coz it,s the least she can do Laughing Laughing

    There.s more to this story apparently,but he reckons it,s that embarressing that it,ll have to wait Laughing

    I,ll let you now Very Happy


    Sherrers
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    Post  Sherrers on Thu Aug 05, 2010 7:36 am

    That fella could possibly out-bungle Rog when it comes to romance.

    Laughing x 1000
    wookie
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    Post  wookie on Thu Aug 05, 2010 8:41 pm

    thats mega crang

    comedy gold
    Fandango Widewheels
    Fandango Widewheels
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    Post  Fandango Widewheels on Thu Aug 05, 2010 9:44 pm

    I forgot to share this one with you from my holiday.

    We were in Vegas and had popped in to McDonalds to grab a snack. Me, Jody and Danielle were stood at the counter choosing what to have. I placed the order the stepped back from the counter. As I did I reached to my left, slid my arm around Jdy's waist and gave her a little squeeze. Only, this waist was a bit more slender than Jody's and she seemed a bit taller. I looked to my left to see not only a young girl stood in Jody's place, but Jody and Danielle rolling round with laughter about 6 feet to my right. As you can imagine, me being the gent I am immediately let go of said girl and apologised profusely whilst turning a very nice shade of red. This 'squeeze' though remained completely calm throughout. I felt like a proper dirty old man.


    Last edited by MarkD77 on Thu Aug 05, 2010 11:58 pm; edited 1 time in total
    wookie
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    Post  wookie on Thu Aug 05, 2010 10:31 pm

    hahaha

    to quote from steptoe and son

    "you dirrrty old man"
    Bishop
    Bishop
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    Post  Bishop on Fri Aug 06, 2010 1:09 am

    MarkD77 wrote:I forgot to share this one with you from my holiday.

    We were in Vegas and had popped in to McDonalds to grab a snack. Me, Jody and Danielle were stood at the counter choosing what to have. I placed the order the stepped back from the counter. As I did I reached to my left, slid my arm around Jdy's waist and gave her a little squeeze. Only, this waist was a bit more slender than Jody's and she seemed a bit taller. I looked to my left to see not only a young girl stood in Jody's place, but Jody and Danielle rolling round with laughter about 6 feet to my right. As you can imagine, me being the gent I am immediately let go of said girl and apologised profusely whilst turning a very nice shade of red. This 'squeeze' though remained completely calm throughout. I felt like a proper dirty old man.


    Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing
    Sherrers
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    Post  Sherrers on Wed Aug 11, 2010 10:18 pm

    Not a funny one at all .

    But was at a lock in in my folks' village, managed to get a farmer's delivered (just to impress, was arseholed) in the dead of night. 1st time in 3 years of them living there I was out without my folks. Never again. Back to pub quiz action only.

    Cue head in hands next day, knowing looks in the square, talk in't village predicted soon etc etc etc

    Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed

    (note, please show discretion in responses, some key people lurk on here innit)
    PW
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    Post  PW on Wed Aug 11, 2010 10:46 pm

    Wandering through Sainsburys i spotted who i thought was my dad inspecting the malt whiskey,a steady trot on the tip toes manifested into me jumping on his shoulders getting him in a slight headlock whilst rubbing his head in a clenched fist action shouting"hope your buying me a drink you tight old bugger"!
    To be fair,the man was very calm and said" i would if i knew who the bloody hell you were".
    I now shop at Tesco.
    Sherrers
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    Post  Sherrers on Wed Aug 11, 2010 11:35 pm

    Laughing Laughing

    brilliant
    RvZ
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    Post  RvZ on Thu Aug 12, 2010 12:20 am

    Sherrers wrote:Not a funny one at all .

    But was at a lock in in my folks' village, managed to get a farmer's delivered (just to impress, was arseholed) in the dead of night. 1st time in 3 years of them living there I was out without my folks. Never again. Back to pub quiz action only.

    Cue head in hands next day, knowing looks in the square, talk in't village predicted soon etc etc etc

    Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed

    (note, please show discretion in responses, some key people lurk on here innit)

    I think the phrase is 'shitting on your own doorstep' Wink
    wookie
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    Post  wookie on Thu Aug 12, 2010 12:54 am

    i have no idea what a farmers is
    Jnr DJ
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    Post  Jnr DJ on Thu Aug 12, 2010 1:37 am

    Laughing Laughing

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