Sherrers wrote:I renewed my card at the lido yesterday.
Did a proper schoolboy error.
I used to (only maybe 2 years hence) swim like a fish every day. 2 years is just long enough to think nothing has changed but everything has. (actually it is probably just a matter of months)
Went straight into the fast lane/deep end and other 'out of your depth' gags.
Lap 3 "ooh this is easy, falling off a log, don't know why I stopped etc etc"
Lap 4 "ooh feel the burn"
Lap 4 and a half "I feel sick"
Lap 5 "Am I the only bloke in here? shit I am"
Lap 6 "Will...not..be...beaten...by...girl..."
Lap 7 rubber arms, inhaling water, stopping to 'adjust goggles' etc etc
Leave pool steaming with embarassment.
"That was quick" said the helpful cashier... not the good 'quick' associated with sport either...
+21
PW
Fandango Widewheels
mr.a
bigdaddy
crang
shAdy
jim_kezzle
elrusto
Jnr DJ
T.B
Broadhead
midgetgem
Son of Nod
RvZ
wookie
Joe
mundros
Ye Olde Rog
Bishop
Sherrers
Ben
25 posters
Embarrassing Moments
Bishop- vvwi
- Number of posts : 4488
Location : Blyth (nr doncatraz).
- Post n°91
Re: Embarrassing Moments
Broadhead- vvwi
- Number of posts : 3637
- Post n°92
Re: Embarrassing Moments
'He showed off, splashing around.......'
Sherrers- Admin
- Number of posts : 9331
Location : the internet
- Post n°93
Re: Embarrassing Moments
I also had a double embarrassing thing seeing my reflection. Forgot how mentally caPTAIN CAAAAVEMAN I look at the moment.
Big hair. Big beard. Big shorts. Bad look.
Big hair. Big beard. Big shorts. Bad look.
Ye Olde Rog- vvwi
- Number of posts : 1633
Location : The 18th Century
- Post n°95
Re: Embarrassing Moments
Sherrers wrote:Big hair. Big beard. Big shorts. Small cock
Sherrers- Admin
- Number of posts : 9331
Location : the internet
- Post n°97
Re: Embarrassing Moments
Revenge is a dish best served cold..
..and submerged.
You will pay for that *shakes fist*
..and submerged.
You will pay for that *shakes fist*
mr.a- wrong un
- Number of posts : 90
Location : Hesa
- Post n°99
Re: Embarrassing Moments
Bishop wrote:.
I have a embarrassing tale for you all in the hope it will cheer Timbo and Al up.
I used to play sunday football, on a sunday, and one saturday me and my mate Al went out clubbing in Nottingham. We had a truly exceptional night and got back to the hotel we were stopping in at 6.30.
This particular sunday we had said we would not be available for football but we recieved a phone call from Al's brother who was the manager of the sunday team, telling us to get our arses back as they were struggling for a side. So we somehow managed to get sorted drive home and went straight to football which kicked off at 10. We were off our nut.
So we plays the game and me and Al are fucking brilliant, we are just bombing round the pitch, kicking anyone that moved and we even bagged a couple of goals each from centre half.
I will get to the embarrassing bit soon promise.
Games finises and we are both starting to come down abit and I feel very very ropey, we head to the pub and order a pint, I take one sip and shite my kegs. Bollocks.
So I play it cool and waddle to the bog, straight into a cubicle off with the kegs, wipe my arse. But now im in a quandry, what shall i do with me pants.
A ha a window in the toilet which is slightly ajar, so i reach up and slip them out the window. Brilliant job done, back to the bar, nobody suspects a damn thing apart from Al who knows eactly where i have been. Al says to me what did you do with your kegs. Shut the fuck up I tell him.
Everyone has finished their beers so we leave, we step out the door and there looking completely mortified is a table of 4 sat right outside and right under the bog window with my shitty kegs hanging off the corner of the table.
Fucking Al shouts "so thats what ya did with em and high fives me"
Broadhead- vvwi
- Number of posts : 3637
- Post n°100
Re: Embarrassing Moments
I have just bumped in to one of the senior department managers as i was walking in to the toilets. Not that bad in itself, except i was singing junior Vasquezs 'Get your hands off my man' as i was walking in. I was even singing it in a daft voice, mimicking the song.
Thank FUCK i am leaving tomorrow.
Thank FUCK i am leaving tomorrow.
Sherrers- Admin
- Number of posts : 9331
Location : the internet
- Post n°101
Re: Embarrassing Moments
Broadhead wrote:I have just bumped in to one of the senior department managers as i was walking in to the toilets. Not that bad in itself, except i was singing junior Vasquezs 'Get your hands off my man' as i was walking in. I was even singing it in a daft voice, mimicking the song.
Thank FUCK i am leaving tomorrow.
you should have moonwalked into one of the cubicles winking and beckoning...
Ye Olde Rog- vvwi
- Number of posts : 1633
Location : The 18th Century
- Post n°102
Re: Embarrassing Moments
Sherrers wrote:
you should have moonwalked into one of the cubicles wanking and beckoning...
Bishop- vvwi
- Number of posts : 4488
Location : Blyth (nr doncatraz).
- Post n°103
Re: Embarrassing Moments
Ye Olde Rog wrote:Sherrers wrote:
you should have moonwalked into one of the cubicles wanking and beckoning...
bigdaddy- Moderator
- Number of posts : 1233
Location : lost underwater city of shoreditch
- Post n°104
Re: Embarrassing Moments
Broadhead wrote:I have just bumped in to one of the senior department managers as i was walking in to the toilets. Not that bad in itself, except i was singing junior Vasquezs 'Get your hands off my man' as i was walking in. I was even singing it in a daft voice, mimicking the song.
Thank FUCK i am leaving tomorrow.
I hear Junior Vasquez is rocking the flatcap look these days.
Broadhead- vvwi
- Number of posts : 3637
- Post n°105
Re: Embarrassing Moments
He's piled on the weight too
I am Wakefields answer to Junior Vasquez.
Now all i need is to play a 20 hour set of screaming diva's, in a DJ booth with a shower and a kitchen in it. I also need a overblown ego, to throw a hissy fit and then to play oversea's and massively disappoint everyone when they realise i'm not actually any good.
I am Wakefields answer to Junior Vasquez.
Now all i need is to play a 20 hour set of screaming diva's, in a DJ booth with a shower and a kitchen in it. I also need a overblown ego, to throw a hissy fit and then to play oversea's and massively disappoint everyone when they realise i'm not actually any good.
bigdaddy- Moderator
- Number of posts : 1233
Location : lost underwater city of shoreditch
- Post n°106
Re: Embarrassing Moments
Broadhead wrote:I am Wakefields answer to Junior Vasquez.
And here's Wakefield thinking it hadn't even asked the question.
Broadhead- vvwi
- Number of posts : 3637
- Post n°107
Re: Embarrassing Moments
Wakey doesn't think, it just knows.
T.B- Moderator
- Number of posts : 3939
Location : East London
- Post n°108
Re: Embarrassing Moments
bigdaddy wrote:Broadhead wrote:I am Wakefields answer to Junior Vasquez.
And here's Wakefield thinking it hadn't even asked the question.
oh Daddy!
crang- vvw
- Number of posts : 687
Location : strong island southsea
- Post n°109
Re: Embarrassing Moments
I,ve mentioned before in this thread about my brothers ongoing search for love via the internet,and the embarressing situations it has got him in
Well,his latest date is no exception,i shall begin...
He agrees to meet this woman at eastliegh train station on friday night,when he arrives there he looks around for her,all of a sudden he clocks this woman on the other side of the platform,(by the way he has not seen a photo of his date),she starts calling him over,so he goes over to meet her,although younger looking than he expected,it appears that this is his date,they exchange pleasntrys and go to a local pub,whilst in there she starts getting loads of texts and then disappears,my brother assumes that she just didnt fancy him and had done one,so to speak,he then starts to recieve
texts on his phone,asking him where he is?,its from the woman who he had arranged the date with!???,yes,he had met the wrong woman at the station ,so now he trys to explain to his proper date what had happened!,she finds it all quite funny and says she,ll meet him in the pub,when she gets there(she,s not as pretty as the fake date,and older )she explains to my brother that she is on medication and cant drink too much,anyway, they have a few beers and the night ends and my bro walks her home,on the way all of a sudden she passes out,falls into the road and bangs her head(she,s out cold),at that time a police car comes by,and they call an ambulance and rush her and my bro to hospital,my bro stays with her for 4 hours!,she gets the ok eventually, and they go back to her house,where upon she says to my bro he can stay the night if he wants coz it,s the least she can do
There.s more to this story apparently,but he reckons it,s that embarressing that it,ll have to wait
I,ll let you now
Well,his latest date is no exception,i shall begin...
He agrees to meet this woman at eastliegh train station on friday night,when he arrives there he looks around for her,all of a sudden he clocks this woman on the other side of the platform,(by the way he has not seen a photo of his date),she starts calling him over,so he goes over to meet her,although younger looking than he expected,it appears that this is his date,they exchange pleasntrys and go to a local pub,whilst in there she starts getting loads of texts and then disappears,my brother assumes that she just didnt fancy him and had done one,so to speak,he then starts to recieve
texts on his phone,asking him where he is?,its from the woman who he had arranged the date with!???,yes,he had met the wrong woman at the station ,so now he trys to explain to his proper date what had happened!,she finds it all quite funny and says she,ll meet him in the pub,when she gets there(she,s not as pretty as the fake date,and older )she explains to my brother that she is on medication and cant drink too much,anyway, they have a few beers and the night ends and my bro walks her home,on the way all of a sudden she passes out,falls into the road and bangs her head(she,s out cold),at that time a police car comes by,and they call an ambulance and rush her and my bro to hospital,my bro stays with her for 4 hours!,she gets the ok eventually, and they go back to her house,where upon she says to my bro he can stay the night if he wants coz it,s the least she can do
There.s more to this story apparently,but he reckons it,s that embarressing that it,ll have to wait
I,ll let you now
Sherrers- Admin
- Number of posts : 9331
Location : the internet
- Post n°110
Re: Embarrassing Moments
That fella could possibly out-bungle Rog when it comes to romance.
x 1000
x 1000
wookie- vvwi
- Number of posts : 4123
Location : casa del bramley
- Post n°111
Re: Embarrassing Moments
thats mega crang
comedy gold
comedy gold
Fandango Widewheels- Moderator
- Number of posts : 6539
Location : The frozen wastes of the north east
- Post n°112
Re: Embarrassing Moments
I forgot to share this one with you from my holiday.
We were in Vegas and had popped in to McDonalds to grab a snack. Me, Jody and Danielle were stood at the counter choosing what to have. I placed the order the stepped back from the counter. As I did I reached to my left, slid my arm around Jdy's waist and gave her a little squeeze. Only, this waist was a bit more slender than Jody's and she seemed a bit taller. I looked to my left to see not only a young girl stood in Jody's place, but Jody and Danielle rolling round with laughter about 6 feet to my right. As you can imagine, me being the gent I am immediately let go of said girl and apologised profusely whilst turning a very nice shade of red. This 'squeeze' though remained completely calm throughout. I felt like a proper dirty old man.
We were in Vegas and had popped in to McDonalds to grab a snack. Me, Jody and Danielle were stood at the counter choosing what to have. I placed the order the stepped back from the counter. As I did I reached to my left, slid my arm around Jdy's waist and gave her a little squeeze. Only, this waist was a bit more slender than Jody's and she seemed a bit taller. I looked to my left to see not only a young girl stood in Jody's place, but Jody and Danielle rolling round with laughter about 6 feet to my right. As you can imagine, me being the gent I am immediately let go of said girl and apologised profusely whilst turning a very nice shade of red. This 'squeeze' though remained completely calm throughout. I felt like a proper dirty old man.
Last edited by MarkD77 on Thu Aug 05, 2010 11:58 pm; edited 1 time in total
wookie- vvwi
- Number of posts : 4123
Location : casa del bramley
- Post n°113
Re: Embarrassing Moments
hahaha
to quote from steptoe and son
"you dirrrty old man"
to quote from steptoe and son
"you dirrrty old man"
Bishop- vvwi
- Number of posts : 4488
Location : Blyth (nr doncatraz).
- Post n°114
Re: Embarrassing Moments
MarkD77 wrote:I forgot to share this one with you from my holiday.
We were in Vegas and had popped in to McDonalds to grab a snack. Me, Jody and Danielle were stood at the counter choosing what to have. I placed the order the stepped back from the counter. As I did I reached to my left, slid my arm around Jdy's waist and gave her a little squeeze. Only, this waist was a bit more slender than Jody's and she seemed a bit taller. I looked to my left to see not only a young girl stood in Jody's place, but Jody and Danielle rolling round with laughter about 6 feet to my right. As you can imagine, me being the gent I am immediately let go of said girl and apologised profusely whilst turning a very nice shade of red. This 'squeeze' though remained completely calm throughout. I felt like a proper dirty old man.
Sherrers- Admin
- Number of posts : 9331
Location : the internet
- Post n°115
Re: Embarrassing Moments
Not a funny one at all .
But was at a lock in in my folks' village, managed to get a farmer's delivered (just to impress, was arseholed) in the dead of night. 1st time in 3 years of them living there I was out without my folks. Never again. Back to pub quiz action only.
Cue head in hands next day, knowing looks in the square, talk in't village predicted soon etc etc etc
(note, please show discretion in responses, some key people lurk on here innit)
But was at a lock in in my folks' village, managed to get a farmer's delivered (just to impress, was arseholed) in the dead of night. 1st time in 3 years of them living there I was out without my folks. Never again. Back to pub quiz action only.
Cue head in hands next day, knowing looks in the square, talk in't village predicted soon etc etc etc
(note, please show discretion in responses, some key people lurk on here innit)
PW- wrong un
- Number of posts : 65
Location : DERBY
- Post n°116
Re: Embarrassing Moments
Wandering through Sainsburys i spotted who i thought was my dad inspecting the malt whiskey,a steady trot on the tip toes manifested into me jumping on his shoulders getting him in a slight headlock whilst rubbing his head in a clenched fist action shouting"hope your buying me a drink you tight old bugger"!
To be fair,the man was very calm and said" i would if i knew who the bloody hell you were".
I now shop at Tesco.
To be fair,the man was very calm and said" i would if i knew who the bloody hell you were".
I now shop at Tesco.
Sherrers- Admin
- Number of posts : 9331
Location : the internet
- Post n°117
Re: Embarrassing Moments
brilliant
RvZ- vvvwi
- Number of posts : 2685
Location : Londinium
- Post n°118
Re: Embarrassing Moments
Sherrers wrote:Not a funny one at all .
But was at a lock in in my folks' village, managed to get a farmer's delivered (just to impress, was arseholed) in the dead of night. 1st time in 3 years of them living there I was out without my folks. Never again. Back to pub quiz action only.
Cue head in hands next day, knowing looks in the square, talk in't village predicted soon etc etc etc
(note, please show discretion in responses, some key people lurk on here innit)
I think the phrase is 'shitting on your own doorstep'
wookie- vvwi
- Number of posts : 4123
Location : casa del bramley
- Post n°119
Re: Embarrassing Moments
i have no idea what a farmers is
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