Wookie's World of the Criminally Mundane

Fandango Widewheels wrote:Bish, you need to commission such a publication for Blyth

http://www.dorsetsociety.co.uk/

Someone is actually making money out of the mundane.

I reckon Blyth's local rag would be something like the Framley Examiner (some of the stuff on that site is funny as fuck!!)

the classified pages on there, are a work of genius

wookie wrote:the classified pages on there, are a work of genius

FULL-SIZE MB "Mouse Trap" game. Bowling ball missing. Man on diving board in really bad mood. £30ono

I just finger bobbed a custard doughnut....it was cold and thick. It was an accident too!

Fandango Widewheels wrote:Bish, you need to commission such a publication for Blyth

http://www.dorsetsociety.co.uk/

Someone is actually making money out of the mundane.

We have the Blyth Bulletin. Trust me its mundane.

Last month we had "an interview with Dick Spray". The local Vicar.

Son of Nod wrote:I just finger bobbed a custard doughnut....it was cold and thick. It was an accident too!

I sympathise. word for word. last ex but one .

Token Bird wrote:

Son of Nod wrote:I just finger bobbed a custard doughnut....it was cold and thick. It was an accident too!

I sympathise. word for word. last ex but one .

Bishop wrote:

Fandango Widewheels wrote:Bish, you need to commission such a publication for Blyth

http://www.dorsetsociety.co.uk/

Someone is actually making money out of the mundane.

We have the Blyth Bulletin. Trust me its mundane.

Last month we had "an interview with Dick Spray". The local Vicar.

Catholic?

Bishop wrote:

Fandango Widewheels wrote:Bish, you need to commission such a publication for Blyth

http://www.dorsetsociety.co.uk/

Someone is actually making money out of the mundane.

We have the Blyth Bulletin. Trust me its mundane.

Last month we had "an interview with Dick Spray". The local Vicar.

I passed through Blyth today. It was quiet. Bish was at work.

shAdy wrote:

Bishop wrote:

Fandango Widewheels wrote:Bish, you need to commission such a publication for Blyth

http://www.dorsetsociety.co.uk/

Someone is actually making money out of the mundane.

We have the Blyth Bulletin. Trust me its mundane.

Last month we had "an interview with Dick Spray". The local Vicar.

I passed through Blyth today. It was quiet. Bish was at work.

Hahahahaha. Indeed I was Sir.

I walked up through Hodsock on sunday to see the snowdrop display.

The river running through Blyth is exceedingly high at the moment.

There is a small Italian man who lives in Blyth who brews his own wine on his allotment. Its potent stuff on a monday afternoon when you visit him in his greenhouse.

Following my polo lesson yesterday, I smelt of Horse.

I am playing football tonight, provided my legs do not continue to be as stiff as they are.

I hope the chavs come to watch and abuse us again.

Bishop wrote:

shAdy wrote:

Bishop wrote:

Fandango Widewheels wrote:Bish, you need to commission such a publication for Blyth

http://www.dorsetsociety.co.uk/

Someone is actually making money out of the mundane.

We have the Blyth Bulletin. Trust me its mundane.

Last month we had "an interview with Dick Spray". The local Vicar.

I passed through Blyth today. It was quiet. Bish was at work.

Hahahahaha. Indeed I was Sir.

I walked up through Hodsock on sunday to see the snowdrop display.

The river running through Blyth is exceedingly high at the moment.

There is a small Italian man who lives in Blyth who brews his own wine on his allotment. Its potent stuff on a monday afternoon when you visit him in his greenhouse.

Following my polo lesson yesterday, I smelt of Horse.

I am playing football tonight, provided my legs do not continue to be as stiff as they are.

I hope the chavs come to watch and abuse us again.

What does Horse smell of?

Its hard to describe. Next time you pass one in a field, get out and go and have a big whiff. It smells like that.

Son of Nod wrote:What does Horse smell of?

The Hoist, without the crisco.

Son of Nod wrote:

What does Horse smell of?

ket, hay and shit

Sooty fancies Debbie Fish, and I think they are going to meet up for a drink on sunday in the Swan.

If the lady in our local shop asks me if i need a bag when my arms are full of shopping once more, she is getting a chinese burn.

You cant beat a nice french fancy.

The chap who owns the Huntsman in Torworth has taken over the Fourways. He has also taken the pool table out.

i've had all my hair cut off, i'm now a short hair wookie


i added mayonnaise to my beans and sausages on toast last night

wookie wrote:i've had all my hair cut off, i'm now a short hair wookie


i added mayonnaise to my beans and sausages on toast last night

Light mayo I hope?

I am playing with the GI Joe look....

it was indeed light mayo

were you watching?

wookie wrote:it was indeed light mayo

were you watching?

I squirted some on me after, just to know what it felt like....

I miss Wookie.

hello i'm here

i wore a suit on saturday for the first time in 5 years, it was a grey pinstripe one

wookie wrote:hello i'm here

i wore a suit on saturday for the first time in 5 years, it was a grey pinstripe one

He looked reet smart, with his new haircut and everything!

Photo evidence please.

Fandango Widewheels wrote:Photo evidence please.

What with photoshop and all that I want to see a tailor's receipt!

A wookie in a suit!

I knew hanging around that Han Solo would end up in court. Space court.

On that note :

My old mucker Andy "The Ginger Wizard" Kayll (the soundman of the stars) was putting a system in a new gaff in the east end (I can't bring myself to say Shoreditch anymore) and due to a rather implausible but later obvious misunderstanding I said to the guestlist girl ;
"I'm here to have a chat with the owner, Kevin."
*Blank Look*
I'm a mate of the sound guy? big ginger beard?
*Look of huge recognition* ; OOOH you mean WOOKIE?
So I chuckled and said something like that's new one but yeah... so she looks at the list and asks my name :
"Solo. Might be under Han."

She actually looked at the list. For a quite a bit.

Then Andy walked me in. She was still looking.

Turns out the main bar guy is about 6.4, big ginger beard and massive ginger dreads and is in fact the Wookie in question.

I laughed inwardly. It was too noisy and full of tossers to impart to anyone.

That's this week's Wookie related tale of the mundane on the wrong thread.

Stay tuned when next week I use Bishop's online name to get in Westmister Abbey.

Granville, the local accountant, who has done time for tax evasion, wont give Gab, the local wine maker, who has an allotment, his paperwork back.

The lady in the shop, who's name I forget, has now started being nice to me. I reckon she has realised I dont want to bum her, I just want food and booze.

Andrea from the White Swan has still left Ian for a rich farmer. I have now seen rich farmer and know who he is. He isnt rich at all. I feel he has told her a porky about his finances.

I bumped into the bearded man Gerald twice whilst out running this week. The places he turns up never fail to amaze me.

Hodsock priory is currently open to the public for its annual snow drop display. I havent been.

Sometimes I think the forum isn't what it used to be and then Bishop plays a joker!

You made my week and it's only monday.

I've shown that one to everyone in the office.

Now they 'get' the forum.

It takes me 30 minutes to get from my house to the junction of the A1 and M62.

It takes a further 30 minutes to get from the junction of the A1 and M62, to the junction of the A1 and A19.

Its takes 45 minutes from joining the A19 to get to my place of work.

Overall, my journey to work takes 1 hour and 45 minutes.

I use these measurements to monitor my journey to and from work.

This morning I was held up in stage 2 due to an accident. I was on target for stages 1 and 3.

Fandango Widewheels wrote:It takes me 30 minutes to get from my house to the junction of the A1 and M62.

It takes a further 30 minutes to get from the junction of the A1 and M62, to the junction of the A1 and A19.

Its takes 45 minutes from joining the A19 to get to my place of work.

Overall, my journey to work takes 1 hour and 45 minutes.

I use these measurements to monitor my journey to and from work.

This morning I was held up in stage 2 due to an accident. I was on target for stages 1 and 3.

Hahahahaha. Now that is fucking mundane.

TB - I know the ramblings of a cuntry gent always gets a titter from you.

I couldn't decide what i wanted for tea tonight so i had pack of cocktail sausages and a tin of tuna.

I am on diet.

Phil, whos second name i forget, has asked me to be on the parsih council. He then added, "but you have to be sensible" to which I replied "so i cant sit naked in the meetings". He hasnt mentioned it since.

Mad Eye Riley is putting on weight. I dont know how to break it to her.

Debbie who works behind the local bar is expecting her 6th Child. She is 35. Her mum is called Jane and she has a father called Terry, who looks like steptoe.

I saw the girl who keeps throwing wine bottles out of her car onto my front lawn in the shop last week buying wine. I have placed a sign outside my house saying do not throw your empty bottles here. Full ones welcome.