ROOM 101, let off your steam

Bishop wrote:I currently do not like the fact that someone decided to open their car door as i was passing them in my car yesterday and smash an enormous dent in mine and then try and blame me by saying i was speeding. Although liability was hinted at when she offered me money there and then on the spot, then turned nasty again and called me pompous and accused me of trying to take over the village. I think she had issues.

Fear Bish. When people are shocked they lose their minds for a bit. It's really hard to deal with at the time you have to let it go people aren't rational when they are scared.


I had a proper WI woman knock on my door yesterday and she was collecting her Christian Aid envelope. I rummaged through all the junk on the doormat and handed it to her.

She made the MOST theatrical sigh and went ;

"Oh! never mind."


And did another huge sigh.



I went : Madam, can I observe? that as a door to door tactic... disturbing me at my culinary labours, demanding something I have no idea about then loudly sighing that it wasn't to your satisfaction is simply not very effective. In fact I would say it does the opposite to what you require. You have no idea what my charitable activities are and furthermore... there is a recession on. And it's not very christian of you to huff and puff. I bet Jesus didn't sigh like a deflated balloon when he only got a couple of loaves and a fish. No! he got cracking!

And shut the door.



I was fucking fuming for hours after.


Mind you I had forgotten I was holding a massive knife I was gutting fish with.


I hate bloody WI village holier than thou old bitches.

As always a good point well made. I was very nice to her and asked if she was ok and that she wasnt hurt and not once did i lose my rag when she was there. It was only when i got home that a few things broke.

you'll have delayed shock of the mild variety. all the emotions of it will have hit later. she'll be the opposite. bonkers with shock (and guilt) at the time but more rational by this eve.

and THAT is men and women ladles and jellyspoons

now, what you need is good solid lawyer of the ambulance chasing variety

Sherrers wrote:

Bishop wrote:I currently do not like the fact that someone decided to open their car door as i was passing them in my car yesterday and smash an enormous dent in mine and then try and blame me by saying i was speeding. Although liability was hinted at when she offered me money there and then on the spot, then turned nasty again and called me pompous and accused me of trying to take over the village. I think she had issues.

Fear Bish. When people are shocked they lose their minds for a bit. It's really hard to deal with at the time you have to let it go people aren't rational when they are scared.


I had a proper WI woman knock on my door yesterday and she was collecting her Christian Aid envelope. I rummaged through all the junk on the doormat and handed it to her.

She made the MOST theatrical sigh and went ;

"Oh! never mind."


And did another huge sigh.



I went : Madam, can I observe? that as a door to door tactic... disturbing me at my culinary labours, demanding something I have no idea about then loudly sighing that it wasn't to your satisfaction is simply not very effective. In fact I would say it does the opposite to what you require. You have no idea what my charitable activities are and furthermore... there is a recession on. And it's not very christian of you to huff and puff. I bet Jesus didn't sigh like a deflated balloon when he only got a couple of loaves and a fish. No! he got cracking!

And shut the door.



I was fucking fuming for hours after.


Mind you I had forgotten I was holding a massive knife I was gutting fish with.


I hate bloody WI village holier than thou old bitches.

"Pity the old folks Bish. Making a stink about every detail is all we have to look forward to... and the only way we can have an impact on an increasingly weird world"

I seem to remember someone on this forum saying this tom me a while back. Now who was it pray tell. (although admittedly in a slightly different context).

Sherrers wrote:you'll have delayed shock of the mild variety. all the emotions of it will have hit later. she'll be the opposite. bonkers with shock (and guilt) at the time but more rational by this eve.

and THAT is men and women ladles and jellyspoons

now, what you need is good solid lawyer of the ambulance chasing variety

She will be bonkers with shock again when she gets the quote for my car through her letter flaps.

Letter Flaps!

Bishop wrote:I hate bloody WI village holier than thou old bitches.

"Pity the old folks Bish. Making a stink about every detail is all we have to look forward to... and the only way we can have an impact on an increasingly weird world"

I seem to remember someone on this forum saying this tom me a while back. Now who was it pray tell. (although admittedly in a slightly different context).

She wasn't a pensioner. One of those horrible maggie thatcher is my style guru i give a lot of my time to good works cos I never lift a finger to work cos my husband is stinking rich types.

The rebuttal technique is coming on my honourable friend.

it's a class war thing as well.

I HATE the idea of these pompous cunts steaming around a 100% working class area and pounding on the doors demanding money in their cut glass accents.

It's FUCKING NORTH YORKSHIRE!

I think they parachute them in from Harrogate.

Sherrers wrote:Letter Flaps!

Bishop wrote:I hate bloody WI village holier than thou old bitches.

"Pity the old folks Bish. Making a stink about every detail is all we have to look forward to... and the only way we can have an impact on an increasingly weird world"

I seem to remember someone on this forum saying this tom me a while back. Now who was it pray tell. (although admittedly in a slightly different context).

She wasn't a pensioner. One of those horrible maggie thatcher is my style guru i give a lot of my time to good works cos I never lift a finger to work cos my husband is stinking rich types.

The rebuttal technique is coming on my honourable friend.

Haha I thank you my learned friend, its conversing with you pensioners which is developing said technique.

my hero ;

Im more this chap as i cant grow a big tache.

is that the guy who wrote Rumpole?

Sherrers wrote:it's a class war thing as well.

I HATE the idea of these pompous cunts steaming around a 100% working class area and pounding on the doors demanding money in their cut glass accents.

It's FUCKING NORTH YORKSHIRE!

I think they parachute them in from Harrogate.

i thought you lived near ilkley?

or have you moved?

Al wrote:is that the guy who wrote Rumpole?

John Mortimer?

bigdaddy wrote:

2. Innocent Smoothies, specifically the founders of.

they're always on your list, how come?

wookie wrote:

Sherrers wrote:it's a class war thing as well.

I HATE the idea of these pompous cunts steaming around a 100% working class area and pounding on the doors demanding money in their cut glass accents.

It's FUCKING NORTH YORKSHIRE!

I think they parachute them in from Harrogate.

i thought you lived near ilkley?

or have you moved?

my bit is all terraced back to backs and ordinary hovis folks... we've even got gypsies on our rec... granted Ilkley itself is a mini harrogate.

Sherrers wrote:

wookie wrote:

Sherrers wrote:it's a class war thing as well.

I HATE the idea of these pompous cunts steaming around a 100% working class area and pounding on the doors demanding money in their cut glass accents.

It's FUCKING NORTH YORKSHIRE!

I think they parachute them in from Harrogate.

i thought you lived near ilkley?

or have you moved?

my bit is all terraced back to backs and ordinary hovis folks... we've even got gypsies on our rec... granted Ilkley itself is a mini harrogate.

Seen them gypsies t'other day on way to my Mums. God even Ilkley gets posh pikeys doesnt it.

Sherrers wrote:

wookie wrote:

Sherrers wrote:it's a class war thing as well.

I HATE the idea of these pompous cunts steaming around a 100% working class area and pounding on the doors demanding money in their cut glass accents.

It's FUCKING NORTH YORKSHIRE!

I think they parachute them in from Harrogate.

i thought you lived near ilkley?

or have you moved?

my bit is all terraced back to backs and ordinary hovis folks... we've even got gypsies on our rec... granted Ilkley itself is a mini harrogate.

do you have kids delivering bread up a steep hill?

I'm moving actually. I need to go more rural.

Joe (or anyone) should let me know if you are passing you are all welcome for ale and pies and large dogs.

I get tearful over the Hovis music, even though i know it was made by some southern cunt in adland. they know which buttons to press


why don't you get it over with Sheridan and move into a shitty puddle the ground or up a pole like a proper hermit. you were much happier in that hovel in the middle of fucking nowhere in ibiza and you know it.

Dvorzak (spelling?) new world symphony. The 'largo' I believe. Brassy!

I am seriously considering a bijou shitty puddle cheers Rog.

I'm seriously considering Wensleydale.

Sherrers wrote:I'm moving actually. I need to go more rural.

Joe (or anyone) should let me know if you are passing you are all welcome for ale and pies and large dogs.

where you off too?

we'll have to inform the local wi to come round and annoy you some more

I know it was Ridley Scott who did the Hovis Ad. Factoid.

And there ends my knowledge of the north.

Sherrers wrote:Dvorzak (spelling?) new world symphony. The 'largo' I believe. Brassy!

I am seriously considering a bijou shitty puddle cheers Rog.

I'm seriously considering Wensleydale.

that's not even Yorkshire you turncoat!

man made borders can't hold me back Rog I am free spirit dude

yeah.

You just go where the cheese is man. The good shit.

come on Sherrers give us a map reference or panoramic pic

all we see here is fucking bricks!

Sherrers wrote:Dvorzak (spelling?) new world symphony. The 'largo' I believe. Brassy!

I am seriously considering a bijou shitty puddle cheers Rog.

I'm seriously considering Wensleydale.

hawes way? or further north towards leyburn?

Ye Olde Rog wrote:

Sherrers wrote:Dvorzak (spelling?) new world symphony. The 'largo' I believe. Brassy!

I am seriously considering a bijou shitty puddle cheers Rog.

I'm seriously considering Wensleydale.

that's not even Yorkshire you turncoat!

its north yorkshire mate

Ye Olde Rog wrote:some southern cunt in adland.

Yeah that Dvorak - southern cunt!

Waits for Rog to point out Czech Republic's position in relation to England.

wookie wrote:

Ye Olde Rog wrote:

Sherrers wrote:Dvorzak (spelling?) new world symphony. The 'largo' I believe. Brassy!

I am seriously considering a bijou shitty puddle cheers Rog.

I'm seriously considering Wensleydale.

that's not even Yorkshire you turncoat!

its north yorkshire mate

mate Roger actually used his Lordly powers only once in history. He genuinely tried to get The Republic Of Yorkshire recognised,

If Rog says it isn't Yorkshire he means it doesn't fit with his barmy self made map on the back of a tea towel. In his mad plan we 'give back' bits he doesn't like but get to have most of the pennines back.


Hawes is right mate. Hardraw to be precise.