Wookie's World of the Criminally Mundane

My dad bought himself a laptop at the weekend and is supposed to be giving me his computer. He doesn't know how to get the laptop working. I have a feeling i could be waiting a while.

I have a new mirror in my bathroom. It's a lot better for shaving, but the light isn't as bright as the last one. I'm not so keen thus far.

I haven't washed my face with a bar of soap this century. The smell is awful.

I am no longer a member of Facebook.

I have seen some trainers i quite like. I might get them.

The flashing rubber duck i have on my desk is running out of batterys. Sad times.

Broadhead wrote:My dad bought himself a laptop at the weekend and is supposed to be giving me his computer. He doesn't know how to get the laptop working. I have a feeling i could be waiting a while.

I have a new mirror in my bathroom. It's a lot better for shaving, but the light isn't as bright as the last one. I'm not so keen thus far.

I haven't washed my face with a bar of soap this century. The smell is awful.

I am no longer a member of Facebook.

I have seen some trainers i quite like. I might get them.

The flashing rubber duck i have on my desk is running out of batterys. Sad times.

I can feel this coming on for me too.....

Son of Nod wrote:

Broadhead wrote:My dad bought himself a laptop at the weekend and is supposed to be giving me his computer. He doesn't know how to get the laptop working. I have a feeling i could be waiting a while.

I have a new mirror in my bathroom. It's a lot better for shaving, but the light isn't as bright as the last one. I'm not so keen thus far.

I haven't washed my face with a bar of soap this century. The smell is awful.

I am no longer a member of Facebook.

I have seen some trainers i quite like. I might get them.

The flashing rubber duck i have on my desk is running out of batterys. Sad times.

I can feel this coming on for me too.....

I want to concentrate all my negativity and anger in one place. Here. And stick to "friends" who i actually see, of which there are about 5.

5!

Slag.

I've just eaten Kangaroo for the first time. It was ruddy lovely.

I was served by a young lady with a pierced lip and overly drawn on eyebrows. Despite this, she was ruddy lovely.

It's the grand opening of Cocktails & Dreams tonight. I will be poorly in the morning.

I have had to make an extra hole in my belt, surprisingly to make it tighter. This is only becuase i bought the wrong size and it was too big.

I used a screw driver to do this. A philips one, tool fans.

We have all been sent advent calanders from one of our clients at work. The chococalte tastes like bark. I have already eaten up to the 6th of December.

Broadhead wrote:I've just eaten Kangaroo for the first time. It was ruddy lovely.

I was served by a young lady with a pierced lip and overly drawn on eyebrows. Despite this, she was ruddy lovely.

It's the grand opening of Cocktails & Dreams tonight. I will be poorly in the morning.

I have had to make an extra hole in my belt, surprisingly to make it tighter. This is only becuase i bought the wrong size and it was too big.

I used a screw driver to do this. A philips one, tool fans.

We have all been sent advent calanders from one of our clients at work. The chococalte tastes like bark. I have already eaten up to the 6th of December.

Doesn't one size fit all? Like a tie?

Broadhead wrote:I've just eaten Kangaroo for the first time. It was ruddy lovely.

I was served by a young lady with a pierced lip and overly drawn on eyebrows. Despite this, she was ruddy lovely.

It's the grand opening of Cocktails & Dreams tonight. I will be poorly in the morning.

I have had to make an extra hole in my belt, surprisingly to make it tighter. This is only becuase i bought the wrong size and it was too big.

I used a screw driver to do this. A philips one, tool fans.

We have all been sent advent calanders from one of our clients at work. The chococalte tastes like bark. I have already eaten up to the 6th of December.

where is that opening? it sounds fabulous

It has taken me two days to eat a packet of Cadburys BIG Chocolate buttons.

I still haven't eaten them all.

I doubt very much I will finish the packet today.

wookie wrote:

Broadhead wrote:I've just eaten Kangaroo for the first time. It was ruddy lovely.

I was served by a young lady with a pierced lip and overly drawn on eyebrows. Despite this, she was ruddy lovely.

It's the grand opening of Cocktails & Dreams tonight. I will be poorly in the morning.

I have had to make an extra hole in my belt, surprisingly to make it tighter. This is only becuase i bought the wrong size and it was too big.

I used a screw driver to do this. A philips one, tool fans.

We have all been sent advent calanders from one of our clients at work. The chococalte tastes like bark. I have already eaten up to the 6th of December.

where is that opening? it sounds fabulous

As you will know, I go to Mikes nearly every Friday, and once December comes the kitchen in transformed in to a trendy wine bar. This basically entails buying some cheap spirits and a flashing neon light that says Cocktails & Dreams, purchased for a tenner off Ebay.

We even have cocktail umbrellas and straws.

I don't start on the spirits until i've polished my 8 cans off, then the real fun begins. I'll be in bed by half 11.

Broadhead wrote:My dad bought himself a laptop at the weekend and is supposed to be giving me his computer. He doesn't know how to get the laptop working. I have a feeling i could be waiting a while.

I have a new mirror in my bathroom. It's a lot better for shaving, but the light isn't as bright as the last one. I'm not so keen thus far.

I haven't washed my face with a bar of soap this century. The smell is awful.

I am no longer a member of Facebook.

I have seen some trainers i quite like. I might get them.

The flashing rubber dick i have on my desk is running out of batterys. Sad times.

I have a maltesers advent calendar. I haven't even opened the first window yet.

Broadhead wrote:

wookie wrote:

Broadhead wrote:I've just eaten Kangaroo for the first time. It was ruddy lovely.

I was served by a young lady with a pierced lip and overly drawn on eyebrows. Despite this, she was ruddy lovely.

It's the grand opening of Cocktails & Dreams tonight. I will be poorly in the morning.

I have had to make an extra hole in my belt, surprisingly to make it tighter. This is only becuase i bought the wrong size and it was too big.

I used a screw driver to do this. A philips one, tool fans.

We have all been sent advent calanders from one of our clients at work. The chococalte tastes like bark. I have already eaten up to the 6th of December.

where is that opening? it sounds fabulous

As you will know, I go to Mikes nearly every Friday, and once December comes the kitchen in transformed in to a trendy wine bar. This basically entails buying some cheap spirits and a flashing neon light that says Cocktails & Dreams, purchased for a tenner off Ebay.

We even have cocktail umbrellas and straws.

I don't start on the spirits until i've polished my 8 cans off, then the real fun begins. I'll be in bed by half 11.

a cocktail bar done wakey style haha

wookie wrote:

Broadhead wrote:

wookie wrote:

Broadhead wrote:I've just eaten Kangaroo for the first time. It was ruddy lovely.

I was served by a young lady with a pierced lip and overly drawn on eyebrows. Despite this, she was ruddy lovely.

It's the grand opening of Cocktails & Dreams tonight. I will be poorly in the morning.

I have had to make an extra hole in my belt, surprisingly to make it tighter. This is only becuase i bought the wrong size and it was too big.

I used a screw driver to do this. A philips one, tool fans.

We have all been sent advent calanders from one of our clients at work. The chococalte tastes like bark. I have already eaten up to the 6th of December.

where is that opening? it sounds fabulous

As you will know, I go to Mikes nearly every Friday, and once December comes the kitchen in transformed in to a trendy wine bar. This basically entails buying some cheap spirits and a flashing neon light that says Cocktails & Dreams, purchased for a tenner off Ebay.

We even have cocktail umbrellas and straws.

I don't start on the spirits until i've polished my 8 cans off, then the real fun begins. I'll be in bed by half 11.

a cocktail bar done wakey style haha

Pint of bitter and a smack in the chops.

Fandango Widewheels wrote:

wookie wrote:

Broadhead wrote:

wookie wrote:

Broadhead wrote:I've just eaten Kangaroo for the first time. It was ruddy lovely.

I was served by a young lady with a pierced lip and overly drawn on eyebrows. Despite this, she was ruddy lovely.

It's the grand opening of Cocktails & Dreams tonight. I will be poorly in the morning.

I have had to make an extra hole in my belt, surprisingly to make it tighter. This is only becuase i bought the wrong size and it was too big.

I used a screw driver to do this. A philips one, tool fans.

We have all been sent advent calanders from one of our clients at work. The chococalte tastes like bark. I have already eaten up to the 6th of December.

where is that opening? it sounds fabulous

As you will know, I go to Mikes nearly every Friday, and once December comes the kitchen in transformed in to a trendy wine bar. This basically entails buying some cheap spirits and a flashing neon light that says Cocktails & Dreams, purchased for a tenner off Ebay.

We even have cocktail umbrellas and straws.

I don't start on the spirits until i've polished my 8 cans off, then the real fun begins. I'll be in bed by half 11.

a cocktail bar done wakey style haha

Pint of bitter and a smack in the chops.

By a grandmother from Lupset called Pat.

I used to play golf at Lupsett. Loads of little Gary's used to maraud round the course nicking peoples balls.

Fandango Widewheels wrote:I used to play golf at Lupsett. Loads of little Gary's used to maraud round the course nicking peoples balls.

I once knocked school to go picking mushys at Oulton Hall golf course and the Australian Rugby League team were all playing golf. They soon stopped once they found out what delights were to be found in the undergrowth.

Fandango Widewheels wrote:I have a maltesers advent calendar. I haven't even opened the first window yet.

the man who put the tease in maltesers.

Ye Olde Rog wrote:

Fandango Widewheels wrote:I have a maltesers advent calendar. I haven't even opened the first window yet.

the man who put the tease in maltesers.

reading backwards... i can't be arese3d

Today is a national holiday in Spain.

It's "Constitution Day".

I'm not able to make any jokes about going for a bracing walk. I can't make Spanish people laugh unless it's at me.

Since banning TV from the bedroom we've started listening to the plays on Radio 4 at bedtime.

This is what marriage is like for those of you out there who have yet to take the plunge.

Fandango Widewheels wrote:Since banning TV from the bedroom we've started listening to the plays on Radio 4 at bedtime.

This is what marriage is like for those of you out there who have yet to take the plunge.

You rampant sex beast, you.

Broadhead wrote:

Fandango Widewheels wrote:Since banning TV from the bedroom we've started listening to the plays on Radio 4 at bedtime.

This is what marriage is like for those of you out there who have yet to take the plunge.

You rampant sex beast, you.

Don't know why, but I found this rather funny....

Fandango Widewheels wrote:Since banning TV from the bedroom we've started listening to the plays on Radio 4 at bedtime.

This is what marriage is like for those of you out there who have yet to take the plunge.

oop hello! we've got a new level of dull. Nuevo Dull.

I LIKE it.

Bet 'Book at Bedtime' is a fave!!

Son of Nod wrote:Bet 'Book at Bedtime' is a fave!!

Phwoar!!!!

Womans Hour? Is that to much for you to handle Mark?

My last 4 meals have been pasta based. I am not italian though you wouldn't have guessed it, what with my olive-skin and thick, dark hair.

I've stopped taking my echinacea tablets, they were rubbish.

I used my beard trimmer to shave my head last night. It was much quicker, especially once i sprayed it with WD40.

I keep waking up before 5.30am, yet strangely more awake lately.

I've run out of moisturiser, i am loathe to buy some more this close to christmas.

Broadhead wrote:My last 4 meals have been pasta based. I am not italian though you wouldn't have guessed it, what with my olive-skin and thick, dark hair.

I've stopped taking my echinacea tablets, they were rubbish.

I used my beard trimmer to shave my head last night. It was much quicker, especially once i sprayed it with WD40.

I keep waking up before 5.30am, yet strangely more awake lately.

I've run out of moisturiser, i am loathe to buy some more this close to christmas.

You sprayed WD40 on your head? I use oil when shaving, so it must be the same?

Son of Nod wrote:

Broadhead wrote:My last 4 meals have been pasta based. I am not italian though you wouldn't have guessed it, what with my olive-skin and thick, dark hair.

I've stopped taking my echinacea tablets, they were rubbish.

I used my beard trimmer to shave my head last night. It was much quicker, especially once i sprayed it with WD40.

I keep waking up before 5.30am, yet strangely more awake lately.

I've run out of moisturiser, i am loathe to buy some more this close to christmas.

You sprayed WD40 on your head? I use oil when shaving, so it must be the same?

Yes. I am like Metal Mickey.