T.B's Vogue Ball

could be!

scarlet pimpernel wrote:i will say it again she should be in a mag or something

my daughter wirships you TB

I second that

pro werq girl

I think she has missed her calling.

Never too late is it!

Best thread on here.

Genius TB. I really do love your WERQ.

I am green with envy.



*Note to self. Must try harder*

I just don't know how to straddle the line between spring and summer

tanit wrote:I just don't know how to straddle the line between spring and summer

Yes same here, except I am wearing last springs collection, I have a long line to straddle.

I'm not enjoying being cufflink-less. I look like a stockbroker.



But I'm not smiling and I only have one phone

Use your science brain to imrov something out of stationary.

I'm a massive fan of the quick fix

Two paperclips.

Result!

Sherrers wrote:


Use your science brain to imrov something out of stationary.

I'm a massive fan of the quick fix

says the man who uses the free 3D glasses from cinemas as an alice band

you like them so much they become a very slow fix

Et voila!

Dandy

T.B wrote:

Sherrers wrote:


Use your science brain to imrov something out of stationary.

I'm a massive fan of the quick fix

says the man who uses the free 3D glasses from cinemas as an alice band

you like them so much they become a very slow fix

She's right

I'd wear the papercliplinks for months and show them off. I'd think everyone would admire my thrifty ingenuity but in reality they'd all go on the internet and tell everyone I am a smelly.

I remember you varnishing some boots so you wouldn't have to polish them and thinking you were the bees knees

I'd like the record to show it was a revolutionary new yacht varnish and in fact did exactly that. My boots had a shiny patent leather flexible sheen for a very long time.

If I'd told footwear manufacturers they would be gathering the fruits of my kinky boots.

Kinky boots,





Kinky boots.

(and they rush to obey like the women in a harem )

You should have shared your boot varnishing tips with Chat magazine. I know they're bang up for money saving tips

No the thing is the bleedin varnish cost more than the boots did!

It's the way he uses it as a conversation piece that always used to amuse. He's no idea people are either thinking he is deranged or no idea at all what he is on about.

"OH YES BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAAAA AMAZING NEW ADVANCES IN POLYMERS DRONE DRONE LOOK HOW FLEXIBLE IT IS BLAH WIBBLE"

I'd also like the court to recognise that TB's hilarious impression of me is not as good written down.

Sherrers wrote:I'd also like the court to recognise that TB's hilarious impression of me is not as good written down.

I thought it was brilliant.

BLAH WIBBLE

I need a new haircut TB. Please help. The basin look is no longer hip in Blyth.

sorry the shop is shut this week.

less is more

T.B wrote:sorry the shop is shut this week.

less is more

At last, that means i am WERQ-ING it.

T.B wrote:sorry the shop is shut this week.

less is more

A quick venture round shoreditch this morning suggests the following hair looks are "in":

- Neat beards on gays
- Neater beards on heterosexuals
- Mohawks on women
- Long blond hair (though to be fair I think she's still here from the weekend)
- That short back and sides "Biggles" 50s thing that you can only carry off if you have a very narrow head (not that I'm bitter or anything)
- The "double Skrillex".

HtH.

It was Australian Fashion Week in Sydney recently. Well it was in May but it takes so blimmin longtime to get there and back, I get grey hairs just thinking about it. ANYWAY PILGRIMZ I know what you are saying it's all "Australianz?? FASHION?? are you a mental?"

Well Duh yeah Australians are people too. I've seen diagrams. They don't have black people in Australia. I've looked. But the Australians I met were definitely pasty human type and as such have the RIGHT TO WERQ.

The trouble with over there is everything that we think is scary and massive is actually tiny and rubbish. Like insects or our country. For example (and don't be scared) this is not a GIANT TARANTOOLAR eating a drunk old dear it's actually just a hat.


I knoooow!

Now OBVIOUSLY I got backstage. In fact I don't even know what a frontstage is. The trouble with being around loony proper FASH is there is so much bonkerz daftness you can miss stuff that is actually good. Unless you are a professional like what I am.

EXHIBIT A.
So you'd be forgiven for going "Oh yeah right, turquoise minnie moon mouse. Seeen it, DUNNIT." but no. An expert eye ALWAYS checks out the shoes. It's the only way you can tell if you are dealing with a pro WERQING HARD or a silly Japanese person.






Now obviously being close to Asia you'd think there would be a heavy asian influence. But there isn't really. But then again with FASH in general you'd think being close to earth there'd be an influence but it turns out earth doesn't have a lot of say in things. I've mentioned before that LARGE PRINT (fabrics not big letters in books for spazzez) on the MAXI is H.O.Tea ? Turns out I was right. What I wasn't expecting was ending up looking like a game of Ker-plunk played with Ganesha. Or a cowgirl geisha in Wonkaland.


Now it being a fashion week there was all sort of loonz. In fact more than even I can manage. But my standout moments were :

EXHIBIT B.
"Double Nailz AKA SACK THE MANICURIST" What the Dubbleya effin Tea Eff is going on ere?? I've died and come back as a very stunned person. You can't sell me this concept. It's like telling me a wig worn wrong like a baseball cap on backwards is working. LARGE FAIL





I just LURVE watching FASH reeeeching for something "different". Considering what has come before YOU HAVE A JOB ON. Look at this poor creature. I mean on the left, PUHLEEASE.
"Hello? Is that dial-a-style? Good. Can you make me look like a sad tranny monkey waiting to be experimented on please? Oh ta." Red hair Oh yes WERQZ!! Stick on cartoon surprise-brows? Negatory good buddy.





In the end though I liked Australia even if I was the only black person there. I like it because they do THIS and nobody laughs.

Daddy will be pleased.

Bravo madam.