Basics 6th November

wookie wrote:here's the report

i wore a bobble hat

everyone had a good time

He did.....and yes, we did!!!

Report from Saturday of what I can remember.

I started my day boozing at 1pm in a pleasant little village called Tickhill which is approximately 4.53 miles from my house. Me Mrs Bish, greeny, Claire, jono, emma, karly and dozy. After several pints I managed to get home to Blyth and get ready for Mark picking me up at 5.

We nipped and picked cmd up and drove slowly up to Leeds, checked into Marks hotel, drank a beer and then went to the train station to meet SON. Picked up SON and went to Mojo as quickly as we could due to Matt Long saying he was sat on his own and felt daft. Lying get, it was full of forum members when we got there.

Wookie and Jim were snuggled up in a corner whispering sweet nothings into each others ear, although Jim did have to lift wookies bobble hat up each time he whispered. Big Ben joined us as we waited for Tim to arrive.

A short while later we were told we could make our way upstairs as Tim was now there, which we all did like good little stalkers.

I spoke to Joe Morris going up the stairs although he didn’t have a bloody clue who I was and kept looking at me like I was a proper weirdo.

Tim had gathered all of his mates in the upstairs room at mojo, hence there was plenty of room to sit and stand.

Tim came round and gave everyone a hearty sweaty welcome hug.

The beer was in full flow by this time and I was enjoying my time getting to know SON, who is a daft as he seems.

We were then treated to a spectacular show, whereby various people tried to start a blender attached to a motor which was attached to a set of motor bike handlebars. Very very entertaining as none of the fuckers could start it and they all got in a sweaty mess for nothing.

Free drinks then came round in the shape of a cocktail. Very very nice but not as potent as the one we had at big daddys which saw me lose the power of speech in under 4 minutes.

Jon Carter arrived and left at some point. I think it was when I asked if he would sign my shirt that he left.

We left mojos at fuck knows what time and headed down to acupuncture or cumin or abracadabra bar (fuck knows what its called). We had now picked up Shady and Broadhead and Mrs Ben, Michelle and a fair gaggle of non forum members.

Mark then gave the battle cry for everyone to head to basics. It was like a school trip, Matt Long running and screaming and clapping his hands in an excited stylee.

Basics was fairly quiet when we first got in but soon started to fill up nicely for when Tim and Frenchy came on. Now this next bit is all very hazy. I remember being in lots of different places, at the bar, in the garden, back at the bar, on the dance floor giving Sheridan the bird, then over by the speakers with Mark and Mika, then back out in the garden. I had no sense of time or space or what shit was coming out my mouth but I was know I was giving everyone I encountered a good old taking too.

The music was fecking superb, don’t ask me what tunes were played as I haven’t got a clue, they made me dance and nod my head in an approving fashion so it was good enough for me.

Mrs Bish and Dozy turned up at 1ish, with Mrs Bish explaining to me how twatted I looked.

Again, this bit is hazy, but we moved about a lot and talked a lot and laughed non stop and rescued various smack heads who had way over done it. (ben you not included in this part, I am getting to you) including one tit who fell over, was helped up by Mrs Bish and then proceeded to hug the large supporting pillar whilst asking everyone if it was a tree. His mates were great aswell, Mrs Bish asked if he would like some water and they just said nah, fuck him he will be ok.

5 or 6 o clock arrives and we are herded upstairs, which is where we find ben in the corridor, muttering to himself and sporting a fine pair or crazy legs. Mrs Bish guides him upstairs , sits him down, waters him removes his thermal coat as he is like furnace and brings him back down into the land of reality. Mrs Bish says to Ben are you ok, he stands up, try’s doing a little dance, fails, but has convinced himself he is fine, so takes to the dance floor with a fair amount of vigour and proceeds to get right back on it.

Tim appears again at some point and says his hellos before disappearing off down the stairs to be with the cool people.

Wookie is by now sporting an afro/microphone like hairstyle due to his constant use of the bobble hat. I sing a few lines into his fluffy barnet until I am told to do one.

Hey presto, its 8 o clock and time to leave. We head to the train station and get picked up by my mate and driven home where we sit a drink brew until dozy falls asleep at the table.

Thats pretty much it. I know its vague and there isn’t a lot of detail but I honestly cant remember a great deal apart from laughing form getting there to going home.

The crowd that we were out with were truly brilliant and thank them one and all for a cracking night. Much love.

Sorry about the spelling and shit but I am in a rush. I am meant to be at work.

There are meant to be lots of and in the report but i cant be arsed to put them all in the right places so

if tim ever recovers from it I think he should give you a promotion for that Bish. and Ben's was good too.

I reckon I could definitely find a job for Wookie as a reporter. For a really tiny newspaper for mice or something

Al wrote:if tim ever recovers from it I think he should give you a promotion for that Bish. and Ben's was good too.

I reckon I could definitely find a job for Wookie as a reporter. For a really tiny newspaper for mice or something

how come you needed a big report? we went out, not back to college

next time come out, and then you wouldn't need a report.

I'll add my hazy recollections to Bishop's excellent work...

Bishop wrote:Report from Saturday of what I can remember.

I started my day boozing at 1pm in a pleasant little village called Tickhill which is approximately 4.53 miles from my house. Me Mrs Bish, greeny, Claire, jono, emma, karly and dozy. After several pints I managed to get home to Blyth and get ready for Mark picking me up at 5.

So you went out for a wee tickle and then boy racer crammed you into the boot with the bass bins?

We nipped and picked cmd up and drove slowly up to Leeds, checked into Marks hotel,

Did Mark know? I'm beginning to suspect he may be a very generous soul. Don't tell him I said that.

drank a beer and then went to the train station to meet SON. Picked up SON and went to Mojo as quickly as we could due to Matt Long saying he was sat on his own and felt daft. Lying get, it was full of forum members when we got there.

He's deceptively clever that boy. Bish... I award you this imaginary faux bronze statuette of Sherpa Tensing for being Nodule's guide. N.B Newbies make note. Son of Nod came to Leeds especially for this, had never met any of us and was picked up and guided all night. That is what happens when you is Spamily. Get involved and you too could get the personal services of a tattooed lawyer all night , free of charge (minus any legal costs incurred).


Wookie and Jim were snuggled up in a corner whispering sweet nothings into each others ear, although Jim did have to lift wookies bobble hat up each time he whispered.

Awww. Two lovely bears on the edge of extinction social grooming. If they don't mate soon we'll have to send one to the Paris zoo and get a new more fertile one. This planet will not lose any more rare animals on my watch. No sir.


Big Ben joined us as we waited for Tim to arrive.

A short while later we were told we could make our way upstairs as Tim was now there, which we all did like good little stalkers.

I would have been on time except for the 20 texts per second of every person in there saying "where are you?'. A smart Spamily member would have done a poll and sent one text signed by everyone.

I spoke to Joe Morris going up the stairs although he didn’t have a bloody clue who I was and kept looking at me like I was a proper weirdo.

It's his way. He looks at me the same. I thought it was that he is in possession of a face that looks perpetually askance. It may however be that you and I are just top notch proper weirdos Bish?

Tim had gathered all of his mates in the upstairs room at mojo, hence there was plenty of room to sit and stand.

Oh haha. That was the bit of the night designed for the lightweights, the elderly, the henpecked and the employed. Thus there weren't many cos my mates is all totally ace proper ravers innit?
It's a lie. It was comfortably populated


Tim came round and gave everyone a hearty sweaty welcome hug.

I went for the most absorbent people first. I had run carrying two bags from the station. Why I bothered is beyond me.

The beer was in full flow by this time and I was enjoying my time getting to know SON, who is a daft as he seems.

Newsflash, so are you and everyone on here.

We were then treated to a spectacular show, whereby various people tried to start a blender attached to a motor which was attached to a set of motor bike handlebars. Very very entertaining as none of the fuckers could start it and they all got in a sweaty mess for nothing.

How many cocktail mixers attached to a two-stroke engine have you been disappointed by in total? Hat's doffed to Roger Needham and his booming voice for his short but emotionally embarrassing speech. He's not even on here but he at least tried something to mark the occasion...


Free drinks then came round in the shape of a cocktail. Very very nice but not as potent as the one we had at big daddys which saw me lose the power of speech in under 4 minutes.

Because that was a cocktail. What you drank in the eye of the gay hurricane in Shoreditch was basically 3 types of the most powerful MDMA known to gay science, lightly dissolved in a solution.

Jon Carter arrived and left at some point. I think it was when I asked if he would sign my shirt that he left.

Now that is a mate. I thought. Until I realised he was up to play a "big beat nostalgia night" at elbow rooms. Oh how I joshed. He was in full flow at Basics thought!

We left mojos at fuck knows what time and headed down to acupuncture or cumin or abracadabra bar (fuck knows what its called). We had now picked up Shady and Broadhead and Mrs Ben, Michelle and a fair gaggle of non forum members.

I was touched by the turnout in general but I was a bit overcome when Ady and Scott came. It's not proper unless Broadhead is there, nursing a red stripe and griping

Mark then gave the battle cry for everyone to head to basics. It was like a school trip, Matt Long running and screaming and clapping his hands in an excited stylee.

I appointed Mark as he is officer material. So I gave him a field promotion. He passed the test immediately when I phoned and said "Mark... I need a shepherd for my flock. Get everyone to strip to the waist, fight to the death and the victor will be Scoutmaster... his instant suggestion that that wasn't necessary and he'd do it was the correct answer.


Basics was fairly quiet when we first got in but soon started to fill up nicely for when Tim and Frenchy came on.

Hate to contradict you m'learn'd friend but as any regular knows... having a small queue out there before the doors are open is practically unheard of. For Basics lately it was a busy strong start. MInd you, you'd have be in the club to know that instead of poncing about in the "garden"


Now this next bit is all very hazy. I remember being in lots of different places, at the bar, in the garden, back at the bar, on the dance floor giving Sheridan the bird, then over by the speakers with Mark and Mika, then back out in the garden. I had no sense of time or space or what shit was coming out my mouth but I was know I was giving everyone I encountered a good old taking too.

It's your way. Bishop ; Social Moth

The music was fecking superb, don’t ask me what tunes were played as I haven’t got a clue, they made me dance and nod my head in an approving fashion so it was good enough for me.

You do. Most of them were VVWI tunes (my half). But Frenchy (like every single DJ i back to back with for the first time, who sent a couple of very worried messages about 'preparation and I think half an hour each is best etc etc ' essentially the same thing I get from every first timer : stock answer? 'one on one off, pointless any other way. You start... I'll mimic your tunes and after about 4 records you'll get it. He got it in 3. He was outstanding. Truly made the night for me. Plus I dosed him gooooood early on hahahaha!

Mrs Bish and Dozy turned up at 1ish, with Mrs Bish explaining to me how twatted I looked.

For a spouse who can tell down the phone when you are gurning I imagine that on the spot review was pretty concise, accurate and damning ?


Again, this bit is hazy, but we moved about a lot and talked a lot and laughed non stop and rescued various smack heads who had way over done it. (ben you not included in this part, I am getting to you) including one tit who fell over, was helped up by Mrs Bish and then proceeded to hug the large supporting pillar whilst asking everyone if it was a tree. His mates were great aswell, Mrs Bish asked if he would like some water and they just said nah, fuck him he will be ok.

Meaning the 'tree'? fuck me now the report gets reakky good! hahahaha!

5 or 6 o clock arrives and we are herded upstairs,

So the general thrust of the report of the main event was basically you staggering about?


which is where we find ben in the corridor, muttering to himself and sporting a fine pair or crazy legs. Mrs Bish guides him upstairs , sits him down, waters him removes his thermal coat as he is like furnace and brings him back down into the land of reality. Mrs Bish says to Ben are you ok, he stands up, try’s doing a little dance, fails, but has convinced himself he is fine, so takes to the dance floor with a fair amount of vigour and proceeds to get right back on it.


BIsh? Pot. Kettle. Nitwit. hats off to Gem. Dunce cap onto you.

Tim appears again at some point and says his hellos before disappearing off down the stairs to be with the cool people.

hhahahahaha.... brilliant. You know what? after the gig not a soul rang me. 'being with the cool people" was actually me in the office continuing to do their work for them, doing the money and laughing at Roger. Eduardo was there too. Cool! I'd just been working and needed a sit down in a place with no pounding shit in my ears. I can see it now though..."where's Tim? oh there is a VIP afterparty in the medieval toilets with the in-crowd he's not interested in us". I thought most of you had gone for starters... especially as Mark and Bish came up to the booth and said "Great party mate but i really have to go, sorry"....fast forward two hours and they are at the front gurning. THey did this several times. LIke they were on a bungee. All stood there when the lights came up too hahahaha!

Wookie is by now sporting an afro/microphone like hairstyle due to his constant use of the bobble hat. I sing a few lines into his fluffy barnet until I am told to do one.

I can never tell if Wookie brings novelties out with him or he just has a special power of acquiring them as it gets later and later. LIke a novelty magnet that gains more power as he gets more into it like a dynamo.

Hey presto, its 8 o clock and time to leave. We head to the train station and get picked up by my mate and driven home where we sit a drink brew until dozy falls asleep at the table.

If any of you had assumed correctly that instead of an imaginary afterhours for special people only I was in fact sat in a sweaty office wondering where my 'mates' had gone you'd have ended up at Eduardo's mansion and seen some shit that would part your hair.

Thats pretty much it. I know its vague and there isn’t a lot of detail but I honestly cant remember a great deal apart from laughing form getting there to going home.

Yeah but at least you bothered. HInt HINT.

The crowd that we were out with were truly brilliant and thank them one and all for a cracking night. Much love.

I turned to Beero and went... have you ever seen such a fucked up demographic in any club? *looks out onto crowd* it's almost 50% past it ravers on a yearly pass out from the missus going "my pass expires in 4 hours! double drop!" with victorian faces and big smiles.... and 50% children. I said to him 'the only placed you'd see a combo of 'older' freaks and so many children like this is the international Scouts jamboree. Tell you what, I can read a room like rainman (I can't add up even with a calculator but I ca tell you to within about 10 people how many are in a club... and I agree... they turned up early, cheered and danced and at the end 75% were al still there, which is rare

Sorry about the spelling and shit but I am in a rush. I am meant to be at work.

I'll say it again like my text last night. For a lawyer I worry about that.

There are meant to be lots of and in the report but i cant be arsed to put them all in the right places so

I will try my version of events when I finish this fucking hedge in my garden that thinks it's a Triffid,,,

I can verify that the only thing cool in the office was the cellar.

Sheridan was so freaked out about the decor he went on about it for 4 hours. No word of lie. 4 Hours.

I had to kick him out.

Absolutely loved Basics! The 1 on 1 off shout was Very right indeed! Must do again soon

Soz I've not been in touch since, my phone died that Sunday and have lost everyone's numbers..... handy......!

You were voted as very ace by everyone. And taller, younger and better looking than me.

You're fired.

Frenchy's taller than just about everyone!

Sherrers wrote:You were voted as very ace by everyone. And taller, younger and better looking than me.

You're fired.

hahaha!

is he the lovely tall lad from your tent at Glade?

Frenchy was man of the match

wookie wrote:

Al wrote:if tim ever recovers from it I think he should give you a promotion for that Bish. and Ben's was good too.

I reckon I could definitely find a job for Wookie as a reporter. For a really tiny newspaper for mice or something

how come you needed a big report? we went out, not back to college

next time come out, and then you wouldn't need a report.

ooooooooooooooh *handbag*

Sherrers wrote:You were voted as very ace by everyone. And taller, younger and better looking than me.

You're fired.

Haha! I knew I should've turned up dishevelled and unorganised as usual!! That reminds me, I never gave Claire from Armley that £20 for the phone in comment

HAng on, I heard a rumour you two were on the radio!


link immediately!!!

best back to back i ever heard never mind anywhere else

and i was stone cold sober

Al wrote:HAng on, I heard a rumour you two were on the radio!


link immediately!!!

I stand by my fellow moderator and go 'rhubarb rhubarb' in agreement

Token Bird wrote:

Al wrote:HAng on, I heard a rumour you two were on the radio!


link immediately!!!

I stand by my fellow moderator and go 'rhubarb rhubarb' in agreement

Same here. When you are settled in your new home, get the link up. I demand it of you.

I don't think there is going to be much settling...


I will use the power of the BBC to assist!

you mean charge us for doing fuck all?

YES

allow me...

http://www.4shared.com/account/dir/_VZuD7p3/sharing.html?sId=IZwOz1hNfvvbQm1X


(stalin made me do it)

and when you thought it couldn't get any more idiotic ...

Part 2


http://www.4shared.com/audio/OW8iCYGG/TIM_PART_2.html

Ye Olde Rog wrote:and when you thought it couldn't get any more idiotic ...

Part 2


http://www.4shared.com/audio/OW8iCYGG/TIM_PART_2.html

I never underestimate Tim's idiocy!

thing is though (and I can say this cos he's been cut off and if I know internet 'service' providers may no0t5 be on again for a month) he is what we call a natural.


I mean he's just sat around being a tit but I'd give him a job on radio or telly. there are so many shit cunts in our faces what;s one more!?

Al wrote:thing is though (and I can say this cos he's been cut off and if I know internet 'service' providers may no0t5 be on again for a month) he is what we call a natural.


I mean he's just sat around being a tit but I'd give him a job on radio or telly. there are so many shit cunts in our faces what;s one more!?

I forget he was on the radio when I was a student in Leeds. He makes being a proper tit sound easy I have to give it to him. He's defo the only one in that studio with something to offer.

He should get back into it.

So, I finally got round to listening to this.

Tim did indeed steal the show (which wasn't difficult), he should get back into the radio thing. I had a proper laugh out loud moment at the beginning when they were discussing the 'origins of house'.

'It's pink champagne. Is that gay enough for you?' Classic.

I do need to listen to this...

Listening now, class!!

hahahaha.

Class. I love the way he pulls people up on their texts. Class. You dont win cos ya cant spell reet.