Share your pet hates with Dc10's residents...

Bishop wrote:

MarkD77 wrote:

Bishop wrote:What a truly dog shit day at work today has been. I dont even have a pint to look forward to tonight.

No, all I have is fucking housework.

Hoovering the stairs, FUCK THAT.

Get a cleaner. Problem sorted.

Wow, back up rich boy. The only cleaners that I know in Blyth will rob you blind.

Although I moan I do like to give the house a good fettle. Nothing like buffing your Ladro to a pristine gleam.

Stately homes and Lladro? Are you turning into Barbara Cartland?

MarkD77 wrote:

Bishop wrote:

MarkD77 wrote:

Bishop wrote:What a truly dog shit day at work today has been. I dont even have a pint to look forward to tonight.

No, all I have is fucking housework.

Hoovering the stairs, FUCK THAT.

Get a cleaner. Problem sorted.

Wow, back up rich boy. The only cleaners that I know in Blyth will rob you blind.

Although I moan I do like to give the house a good fettle. Nothing like buffing your Ladro to a pristine gleam.

Stately homes and Lladro? Are you turning into Barbara Cartland?

I cant be that into it, as I dont even know how to spell it.

Bishop wrote:

MarkD77 wrote:

Bishop wrote:

MarkD77 wrote:

Bishop wrote:What a truly dog shit day at work today has been. I dont even have a pint to look forward to tonight.

No, all I have is fucking housework.

Hoovering the stairs, FUCK THAT.

Get a cleaner. Problem sorted.

Wow, back up rich boy. The only cleaners that I know in Blyth will rob you blind.

Although I moan I do like to give the house a good fettle. Nothing like buffing your Ladro to a pristine gleam.

Stately homes and Lladro? Are you turning into Barbara Cartland?

I cant be that into it, as I dont even know how to spell it.

I just put it down to your very basic grasp of modern languages

Craig Revel Horwood. A cunt of the highest order. Darling.

I hate double dropping fully expecting a shag and then failing to get it.

I only do them a few times a year,

I hate the yew hedge that borders my whole property.

It's thwacked me in the fact so many times I honestly looked like I'd been in a punch up. Too thick for hedge trimmers, too bendy for chainsaw.

Although all weekend I've milked the old "what happened to your face?" blindingly dull conversation opener mercilessly. Endless versions of "the perils of taming difficult bush' etc etc etc

On that note I've noticed I'm getting super narked by shit things people use as small talk, particularly openers.

"You used to have a moustache!" yes... much like the one on my face right now.

"OOh I like your beard" it's not as good as yours sweetheart.

"What do you think of Ableton?" I'm just going to stand over there.

They've always been around... but I've become borderline proper rude, especially as all the above have to be accompanied by walking off before they can even look stupified never mind reply.

My beard growth has stopped.....

Ye Olde Rog wrote:I hate double dropping fully expecting a shag and then failing to get it.

I only do them a few times a year,

Other peoples children. Being a pseudo step parent I have to get involved with other peoples kids from time to time. Why is it that 75% of kids I meet are all complete brats?

Oh, and christmas fucking plays. This year I have to sit through Dick Fucking Whittington the musical on a Friday night no less! I am seriously considering getting dosed up to the eyeballs so I laugh uncontrollably through the whole affair.

MarkD77 wrote:Other peoples children. Being a pseudo step parent I have to get involved with other peoples kids from time to time. Why is it that 75% of kids I meet are all complete brats?

Oh, and christmas fucking plays. This year I have to sit through Dick Fucking Whittington the musical on a Friday night no less! I am seriously considering getting dosed up to the eyeballs so I laugh uncontrollably through the whole affair.

Is this some XXX rated festive remake on a classic??

Son of Nod wrote:

MarkD77 wrote:Other peoples children. Being a pseudo step parent I have to get involved with other peoples kids from time to time. Why is it that 75% of kids I meet are all complete brats?

Oh, and christmas fucking plays. This year I have to sit through Dick Fucking Whittington the musical on a Friday night no less! I am seriously considering getting dosed up to the eyeballs so I laugh uncontrollably through the whole affair.

Is this some XXX rated festive remake on a classic??

I like what you did there.

Behind you!

Behind you!!

oh right. you know he's behind you.

urg

Not being able to dance in the club because it is too busy to move.

The royal fucking wedding. Sick of hearing about it. I really couldn't care any less but at least I hear today we'll get a day off out of it.

The weather forecasters shitting themselves about us maybe getting a bit of snow this week. I hate the snow but for fucks sake get on with it and stop talking the country into a standstill.

Miserable bastards moaning about everything all the time.............. errr.

People's inability to drive in bad weather. Every time I get on the A1 and it is raining there is an accident. Is it so difficult to slow down, leave a bit more room and pay a bit more attention?

MarkD77 wrote:People's inability to drive in bad weather. Every time I get on the A1 and it is raining there is an accident. Is it so difficult to slow down, leave a bit more room and pay a bit more attention?

Agreed, took Mrs Bish an age to get to work this morning.

MarkD77 wrote:People's inability to drive in bad weather. Every time I get on the A1 and it is raining there is an accident. Is it so difficult to slow down, leave a bit more room and pay a bit more attention?

Good call, when it snows you know it is going to take you a while to get from a to b. The southerners are the worst, a few inches of snow and you can be stuck in a stand still for hours/days in London.

Can't wait for it to snow this year. The all wheel drive Evo is going to be proper fun. It even has a 'snow' setting

MarkD77 wrote:People's inability to drive in bad weather. Every time I get on the A1 and it is raining there is an accident. Is it so difficult to slow down, leave a bit more room and pay a bit more attention?

text from tim who was late last friday for our meet :

"soz love. can't seem to overtake man in top hat carrying red flag. might be late. going to pull over in nearest town and exchange car for motorbike. fucking fog faced fuckers"

it's still in my phone. it's got about 2 or 3 more chuckles in it til it gets binned.

Token Bird wrote:

MarkD77 wrote:People's inability to drive in bad weather. Every time I get on the A1 and it is raining there is an accident. Is it so difficult to slow down, leave a bit more room and pay a bit more attention?

text from tim who was late last friday for our meet :

"soz love. can't seem to overtake man in top hat carrying red flag. might be late. going to pull over in nearest town and exchange car for motorbike. fucking fog faced fuckers"

it's still in my phone. it's got about 2 or 3 more chuckles in it til it gets binned.

I'm in Hell.

I'm too tired to type.

Brilliant idea. TAke some stuff down overnight and avoid the traffic. BAck up north by breakfast.

Roger came round.

THe rest, as they say , was a colossal spastic fuckup


more another day, if gone to me mams to sleep for 2 days, sorry I robbed you of TB today we had to have a meeting.

I hate london. been there, done it dry and worst of all.. lived there a couple of years totally skint.


I'll just have to learn to love it . Like a shotgun wedding

I keep telling you to stop by mine.

You just have to do it all yourself. You have control issues as they say.

Sherrers wrote:sorry I robbed you of TB today we had to have a meeting.

I think it was Big Daddy who said every "meeting" with tim ends up with the meetee having to have the next day off sick.

He turns up, drinks more in half an hour than I do in a week (covered in shit BTW from 'removals' AND driving) tells you in detail what is going to happen and then fucks off leaving you pissed as a fart with a set of instructions written on a napkin.

If I thought it was deliberate I'd think it was a very clever way of getting what you want

I have to take my hat off though, how the fuck he gets everything done is beyond me.

He doesn't get it all done is the answer.

Sherrers wrote:I'm in Hell.

I'm too tired to type.

Brilliant idea. TAke some stuff down overnight and avoid the traffic. BAck up north by breakfast.

Roger came round.

THe rest, as they say , was a colossal spastic fuckup


more another day, if gone to me mams to sleep for 2 days, sorry I robbed you of TB today we had to have a meeting.

Fuck off x 1000

I was hoovering carpets in a sub zero "garage" ( fucker was bigger than my house) at 2am for you motherfucker!

You were the one who kept "having a rest" and making me cups of coffee.

That's absolutely the last time I help you with anything/fuck everything up.

It's not fault I can't do heavy lifting. I'm old you know.

Really sexy and old.

Just for that I'm coming to your bloody Xmas party and going to fuck that up too.


P.S
How can the fact your 'reverse burglary' plan take you from 10.30pm for the next 24 hours?? Even I don't take that long to get lost in London. The bit where you hit the rush hour on the way back is in no way traceable to me.

P.P.S How did Chico react to the plan?

Ye Olde Rog wrote:
'reverse burglary' plan

whoa

rewind


explain this phrase please

Ye Olde Rog wrote:

Sherrers wrote:I'm in Hell.

I'm too tired to type.

Brilliant idea. TAke some stuff down overnight and avoid the traffic. BAck up north by breakfast.

Roger came round.

THe rest, as they say , was a colossal spastic fuckup


more another day, if gone to me mams to sleep for 2 days, sorry I robbed you of TB today we had to have a meeting.

Fuck off x 1000

I was hoovering carpets in a sub zero "garage" ( fucker was bigger than my house) at 2am for you motherfucker!

You were the one who kept "having a rest" and making me cups of coffee.

That's absolutely the last time I help you with anything/fuck everything up.

It's not fault I can't do heavy lifting. I'm old you know.

Really sexy and old.

Just for that I'm coming to your bloody Xmas party and going to fuck that up too.


P.S
How can the fact your 'reverse burglary' plan take you from 10.30pm for the next 24 hours?? Even I don't take that long to get lost in London. The bit where you hit the rush hour on the way back is in no way traceable to me.

P.P.S How did Chico react to the plan?

By cooking him macaroons I understand.

Ye Olde Rog wrote:
Fuck off x 1000

I was hoovering carpets in a sub zero "garage" ( fucker was bigger than my house) at 2am for you motherfucker!

You were the one who kept "having a rest" and making me cups of coffee.

That's absolutely the last time I help you with anything/fuck everything up.

It's not fault I can't do heavy lifting. I'm old you know.

Really sexy and old.

Just for that I'm coming to your bloody Xmas party and going to fuck that up too.


P.S
How can the fact your 'reverse burglary' plan take you from 10.30pm for the next 24 hours?? Even I don't take that long to get lost in London. The bit where you hit the rush hour on the way back is in no way traceable to me.

P.P.S How did Chico react to the plan?

Yeah I should say Rog did try his best and my plan was essentially flawed by forgetting how hellish the traffic can be even in the small hours.


The "Reverse Burglary" is not a euphemism it's just a very over-engineered practical joke. I told Chico I'd be dropping a few bits off during the night and he should put his earplugs in (everyone in Brixton has them, for the screaming etc). Actually the massive balls up helped cos he was up and gone by the time I arrived at 7am.

I took all his pictures down, replaced them with my paintings, put fancy rugs (a particularly nice arabian worked very well in the lounge) over every bit of the carefully polished bare wood floors, put loads of new kitchen gadgets in....

In a nutshell turned Chico's minimalist dream into a gaudy nightmare.

However the monogrammed glove left at the scene was a TV and DVD player (he has neither) set up in his bedroom. Using the 'a-b' loop function I got a DVD of an Oscar Wilde collection and had a loop running of a young Jeremy Brett (you may remember his Sherlock Holmes on telly) dressing for dinner addressing his valet saying : "It's a curse to be so awfully pretty...it's a curse to be so awfully pretty....it's a curse to be so awfully pretty...etc etc etc"


Basically a Reverse Burgle is when you break in, install loads of electrical goods and valuables and leave, Preferably after a bit of a tidy.

Sherrers wrote:

Ye Olde Rog wrote:
Fuck off x 1000

I was hoovering carpets in a sub zero "garage" ( fucker was bigger than my house) at 2am for you motherfucker!

You were the one who kept "having a rest" and making me cups of coffee.

That's absolutely the last time I help you with anything/fuck everything up.

It's not fault I can't do heavy lifting. I'm old you know.

Really sexy and old.

Just for that I'm coming to your bloody Xmas party and going to fuck that up too.


P.S
How can the fact your 'reverse burglary' plan take you from 10.30pm for the next 24 hours?? Even I don't take that long to get lost in London. The bit where you hit the rush hour on the way back is in no way traceable to me.

P.P.S How did Chico react to the plan?

Yeah I should say Rog did try his best and my plan was essentially flawed by forgetting how hellish the traffic can be even in the small hours.


The "Reverse Burglary" is not a euphemism it's just a very over-engineered practical joke. I told Chico I'd be dropping a few bits off during the night and he should put his earplugs in (everyone in Brixton has them, for the screaming etc). Actually the massive balls up helped cos he was up and gone by the time I arrived at 7am.

I took all his pictures down, replaced them with my paintings, put fancy rugs (a particularly nice arabian worked very well in the lounge) over every bit of the carefully polished bare wood floors, put loads of new kitchen gadgets in....

In a nutshell turned Chico's minimalist dream into a gaudy nightmare.

However the monogrammed glove left at the scene was a TV and DVD player (he has neither) set up in his bedroom. Using the 'a-b' loop function I got a DVD of an Oscar Wilde collection and had a loop running of a young Jeremy Brett (you may remember his Sherlock Holmes on telly) dressing for dinner addressing his valet saying : "It's a curse to be so awfully pretty...it's a curse to be so awfully pretty....it's a curse to be so awfully pretty...etc etc etc"


Basically a Reverse Burgle is when you break in, install loads of electrical goods and valuables and leave, Preferably after a bit of a tidy.

Poor Chico. Does he know what he has let himself in for.