Wookie's World of the Criminally Mundane

What about your many hand held gadgets?

*waits for single entendre*

bigdaddy wrote:Today's mundanity:

Today I can't get any work done because yesterday I used the facing page of my big day-at-a-time diary to write notes from a phone call. And now I don't have any space to write down a to-do list for today. You laugh, but this really is throwing off my productivity.

Ronald Reagan used to work from a to do list.

1. ask aide who this woman nancy is
2. breathe
3. practice winking and pointing
4. invade some gosh darn commie hell hole
5. breathe
6. sell everything to my pals
7. shake hands with some dang fool
8. breathe
9. ok plans for Mars to be annexed
10. re-take alaska from those golly weird commie eskimos
12. er...
'what comes after 12?'

The waltzer is still as good as I remember, the umbrella ride is not.

Mothers really can talk tirelessly when they have had a drink.

I love the smell of horses and silage.

Blyth cricket team are cheats.

Bob nudd really does know how to catch carp off the top, using a pole and dog biscuits.

Its not easy stealing vinegar dispensers from a pub.

The beer in the White Swan is cheaper and tastes far better than in the Red Hart.

Shaving your nether regions when drunk is neither big nor clever.

The fair at Doncaster is not a safe place for upstanding members of the community like me. There were real life chavs.

Champagne wipes my memory.

I'm defrosting my fridge.
I've never done it before.
It seems a cup of boiling water in the top bit helps the process along nicely.

I recently defrosted the freezer. Not intentionally, i just forgot to shut the door and went out to work.

I find it difficult to sleep if the temperature is above 25degC. I found this out last night.

i've just bought a 9v square battery for the lounge smoke alarm

Broadhead wrote:I recently defrosted the freezer. Not intentionally, i just forgot to shut the door and went out to work.

The power used to go out quite often in Ibiza.

It went off once when I was away for about a week and didn't trip back on at the fuses.

You could smell the fridge from outside the house. Fact.

I went in and you know how a fridge is designed to be airtight to keep in the cold? it also works the other way. In august in Ibiza it can do 80 degrees all month.

I had to open it... but I did consider just rolling the fucker up in a carpet and burying it.

I tell thee... I've seen some things.... it was worse than any horror movie you could imagine. But real.

On the plus side I had invented life out of ingredients found in any supermarket.

I had to take almost everything out the kitchen, put up plastic sheets and take the hose to the fucker. Things ran away. Some swam.

There is no other word than 'gross'.

Bloody hell. I think if we strapped you to a chair and threw random words at you you would have a story about it.

Fridge! "well there was this one time"

Anglepoise Lamp "funny you should say that because I was in a meeting at Pixar..."

Mascara mistakes "well... Geilgud and I were in the scottish play on tour in asia..."

Bagels! "did you know that hole in a bagel is modelled on my anus..."



Don't take it bad. It's why I like you.

I've just endured one of the most boring 1 on 1 meetings I've ever had the displeasure of being in. I was having to nip myself to stop my eyes from rolling. He waffled on about social media and what an expert he was but I could tell he didn't have a clue. He also told me he was a go go dancer from Primal Scream before they were famous. Twat. He better give me some money and become a client after that.

I'm at an age where I'm having to control my nasal hair.

My car is filthy, inside and out and I just can't be arsed cleaning it.

I'm down to just 3 pairs of boxer shorts that don't have holes in them.

prentaghast wrote:I've just endured one of the most boring 1 on 1 meetings I've ever had the displeasure of being in. I was having to nip myself to stop my eyes from rolling. He waffled on about social media and what an expert he was but I could tell he didn't have a clue. He also told me he was a go go dancer from Primal Scream before they were famous. Twat. He better give me some money and become a client after that.

I'm at an age where I'm having to control my nasal hair.

My car is filthy, inside and out and I just can't be arsed cleaning it.

I'm down to just 3 pairs of boxer shorts that don't have holes in them.

prentaghast wrote:I've just endured one of the most boring 1 on 1 meetings I've ever had the displeasure of being in. I was having to nip myself to stop my eyes from rolling. He waffled on about social media and what an expert he was but I could tell he didn't have a clue. He also told me he was a go go dancer from Primal Scream before they were famous. Twat. He better give me some money and become a client after that.

I'm at an age where I'm having to control my nasal hair.

My car is filthy, inside and out and I just can't be arsed cleaning it.

I'm down to just 3 pairs of boxer shorts that don't have holes in them.

I like Rentaghost more every day.

Ye Olde Rog wrote:

prentaghast wrote:I've just endured one of the most boring 1 on 1 meetings I've ever had the displeasure of being in. I was having to nip myself to stop my eyes from rolling. He waffled on about social media and what an expert he was but I could tell he didn't have a clue. He also told me he was a go go dancer from Primal Scream before they were famous. Twat. He better give me some money and become a client after that.

I'm at an age where I'm having to control my nasal hair.

My car is filthy, inside and out and I just can't be arsed cleaning it.

I'm down to just 3 pairs of boxer shorts that don't have holes in them.

I like Rentaghost more every day.

I feel truly accepted now. Cheers Rog. I shall celebrate by having a long overdue and official name change to Rentaghost.

......... well I would have done if it let me.

prentaghast wrote:......... well I would have done if it let me.

I'll do it for you.

Remember to use the new username when you log in.

The council are thinking of buying the dinosaur,i'm for it to be honest

I,m 36900th in the world at i basketball

My bro has gone to salisbury to meet an anesthetist on a date

I have a pair of denon ds 5000s under my bed

I got told off by a teacher on my way to the gym the other night,coz i was riding my bike across the grounds,i turned round and said "i,m not in school no more mate",and carried on,this is childish i know,but it gave me slight pleasure

Three young student girls have moved in downstairs,they,ve already set the fire alarm off,and i,ve also had to complain about there music

The front steps of our flat are covered with crane flies

crang wrote:The council are thinking of buying the dinosaur,i'm for it to be honest

I,m 36900th in the world at i basketball

My bro has gone to salisbury to meet an anesthetist on a date

I have a pair of denon ds 5000s under my bed

I got told off by a teacher on my way to the gym the other night,coz i was riding my bike across the grounds,i turned round and said "i,m not in school no more mate",and carried on,this is childish i know,but it gave me slight pleasure

Three young student girls have moved in downstairs,they,ve already set the fire alarm off,and i,ve also had to complain about there music

The front steps of our flat are covered with crane flies

Class

crang wrote:The council are thinking of buying the dinosaur,i'm for it to be honest

I'm in the jobbie market right now as it happens. I'm free!

I have moved from sleeping on my side to sleeping on my back. I have no idea why this is.

I cant sleep on my back. I twitch.

My garden contains, a sledge, a football, a broken gazebo, 2 broken bbq's, 3 pink fold away chairs and 3 blue fold away chairs, some broken solar lights and a large burnt patch of grass.

This weekend I am tackling the scarp yard that is my garden.

I went for a run last night.

I updated a Jesuit PC. I asked if they wanted spell check or are they still against spells in general. No one laughed.

Ha ha I love a period of absenteeism and coming back to this thread is a comfort.

The world may turn and chuck shit at everyone but there will always be the Mundane Thread.

I used to be a rocker and have hair down past my shoulders.

I then got into Hip Hop and turned into Tim Westwood and would only wear clothes three sizes too big for me.

My first car was a suzuki jeep convertable. Everytime it rained I had to endure wet feet and wet seats even though the roof was on.

The house phone was missing for a few hours on sunday, its now been found and is back recharging.

My postman continues to post as much junk mail as he can through my letterbox.

I have trimmed my sideburns....makes it look like I have cut mi hair again!

Bishop wrote:I used to be a rocker and have hair down past my shoulders.

I then got into Hip Hop and turned into Tim Westwood and would only wear clothes three sizes too big for me.

My first car was a suzuki jeep convertable. Everytime it rained I had to endure wet feet and wet seats even though the roof was on.

The house phone was missing for a few hours on sunday, its now been found and is back recharging.

My postman continues to post as much junk mail as he can through my letterbox.

I had long hair too Bish. Tit length at its longest and worn in a pony tail quite often. That was more because I was a long haired raver though. I was just 15.

In more reminiscing style mundanity:

I've never worn Naff Co 54.

I was shaving at 12.

I used to be embarrassed when my mate wore his Ark jacket when we were knocking about. One of my sisters had a Groover jacket too. It was the Hoover logo but with Groover on it instead. Classy times.

I have a huge spot on mi jawline!!! Not impressed!!

more dullness just in...

Bleaching gravel with a diluted solution makes it sparkle! (Mind you don't let it drain into the ground water though).

I got my second total massive crash and burn brush off from a woman yesterday. 2 in a month. Although on my graph it's not too bad as they were the first 2 attempts in 4 years.

My uncle Johnny is 85 and even now maintains a perfect proper quiff. Silver. He was one of many Irish nationals who fought for the British in WWII. Air force. Bombers.

I really don't know what to do with my collection of timber when I move. Anything else I have I can live without but... it's just so useful!

I saw a Sinclair C5 the other day.

Bad drainage is the bane of all gardening.