Daddy's Guide to the Internet

Sherrers wrote:
One day Wookie you are going to have to cowboy up and start the thread of your dreams

if you make it he will come

one of my first internet encounters with timmy was his jewish Haikus he was doing with his jewish pals in New York. god that was a long long time ago

ARG! yes. When modems were dialup and so was I.

You know I don't think I could find those. It was about ten computers ago. In fact my first laptop. The first Mac clamshell so that would be???

RvZ wrote:

Sherrers wrote:
One day Wookie you are going to have to cowboy up and start the thread of your dreams

if you make it he will come

No he won't

Sherrers wrote:ARG! yes. When modems were dialup and so was I.

You know I don't think I could find those. It was about ten computers ago. In fact my first laptop. The first Mac clamshell so that would be???

1999

From OHIO

Inmates dance, deputy fired

By Phil Trexler
Beacon Journal staff writer

Published: May 2, 2012 - 04:55 PM | Updated: May 3, 2012 - 07:47 AM


Some inmates did the worm, others chose the old school robot. Each dance was performed to the beat of hip-hop artist Usher on command from a now-fired Summit County deputy.

The inmate prize: use of a jail microwave.

The charges are revealed in an internal affairs report released Wednesday. Deputy Dominic Martucci, 35, was fired for violating the department’s policies, including a mandate that inmates be treated humanely.

Martucci is accused of ordering five inmates dance to Usher’s Yeah! song and then inviting other deputies to watch during an early evening shift on April 11. The inmates danced their way to regaining use of a microwave that they had lost earlier that day.

Another inmate won the right to use the phone and commissary items for his old-school robot dance routine. Martucci blared the music from a smartphone, the report said.

“I did what I had to do so I could use the phone,” the inmate told investigators. A family member had died and he needed to contact relatives, he said.

At one point, Martucci signaled a fellow deputy to watch the dance.

“Stop and watch this, it’s going to be funny,” he said, according to the report.

One inmate said as many as five deputies looked on during the dance. They were also looking to make sure a supervisor was not nearby, investigators said. The inmate said some dancers were rewarded with commissary items, but not him.

The inmate was told he “messed up” and faced a trip to the hole. The inmate alleged Martucci demanded he dance “one minute to my liking.” The inmate was eventually let out of lock down, the report shows.

The allegations came out through an inmate’s memo to a sergeant sent days later.

“[Martucci] told the inmates that if they wanted out of lock up and the microwave back, that they would have to dance for him,” an internal affair report noted. “He let out the [five inmates] and told them to entertain him by dancing...”

Martucci was suspended April 23. This week, Sheriff Drew Alexander fired the deputy on departmental charges of mistreating the inmates, misconduct and having a cell phone in the jail.

An appeal is expected, but neither Martucci nor a union official could be reached for comment Wednesday. Alexander was not available for comment.

“The community needs to be assured that all inmates that come the doors of the Summit County Jail will be treated humanely and with respect,” said sheriff’s spokesman Bill Holland. “All allegations to the contrary are thoroughly investigated. Any member of our agency that does not share this philosophy will be disciplined accordingly.”

In his defense, Martucci told investigators he forced the inmates to dance in order to regain day room privileges lost earlier in the shift. The inmates did not touch each other.

During the internal investigation, investigators said Martucci admitted his actions were wrong, but that he intended only to “lighten the tension” in the jail pod.

I read this over the weekend and was proper taken aback. Basically someone set up an experiement to allow people to post 'what secret could ruin their lives if it came out'.

Now there's some pretty dark stuff on there which you can probably imagine. But this one had me in fits. Get past the bit about his cousins wake.

However, if there’s one post that seemed to “make” this thread (if that’s even possible), it’s this one from (non-throwaway account!) Lynfect:

Cousin died when we were both seventeen. There was a reception at his house just after the funeral. I went into his room and stole all the money that was there, took some other valuables that his parents wouldn’t realize were gone. No one knows that I did it, they just assumed he didn’t have any money in his room, only loose change. I don’t regret it, but I will never admit I did it.

Also my cum box.

Wow, I can’t believe he stole from his c—… WAIT, WHAT? Cum box? Someone requested, “Please elaborate on this cum box, please.” Lynfect, to everyone’s horror, did exactly that:

Well, it is exactly what it sounds like. It’s a shoebox, or at least once was, and whenever I masturbate I cum into it. I’ve had it for two or three years now I think, so it has a fair amount of cum. It smells atrocious, and I tried to burn it once. When I lit it on fire, it was too damp due to the cum that it simply sizzled and didn’t manage to actually lite up. Turns out burning cum smells awful, so I had to spray it with a deodorant body spray just to get the old smell of burnt cum away. It also has some drenched papers stuck to it. That’s pretty much it.

Because people were asking, my greatest shame. (Ed: “my greatest shame” links to an actual fucking imgur gallery of his cum box.)

EDIT 2: A lot of people are asking me, why? Well, I’m apparently a rather disturbed individual. But, it just kind of happened, bought new shoes and needed someplace to cum, used the box. It just escalated from there, kept using it each time, telling myself I would throw it out soon. Never did, two or three years later, I still have it. It was planned or anything, it just happened.

EDIT 3: Fuck, this really exploded. ~20,000+ views of my cum box. Did not expect this.

And to think I’ve only used my old shoeboxes to store shoes. What was I thinking???

So wait, he tried to burn it? Like, to destroy it, but in the smelliest way possible? And then he deodorized it, got some papers stuck it, and kept it? Oh man, this is just about the weirdest confession you or I will ever read.

And he shared photos of it! I removed the gallery link from the quote because I didn’t want anyone clicking on the link and, I dunno, not finishing this article because they weren’t ready to look at photos of a fucking cum box.

I guess it’s not too surprising? It’s just a stained, burned shoebox with some kinda charred wax in it (Spoiler alert: it is not wax). If you really, really want to see it, fine. Here’s a link. Lynfect’s cum box imgur gallery

Here's a link to the website for anyone who feels like being disturbed a bit more

http://slacktory.com/2012/05/reddit-what-secret-could-ruin-your-life-if-it-came-out-thread/

Doesn't every chap have one?

Not since I set fire to it.

Mark is on a site called 'Slack Tory'. What a surprise

gross

but wait...

it wasn't evil techno rave music it was EVIL drugs!

http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/318498/318498



caution...Crang may be even more upset than his wife.

those pesky evil ravers!

That reminds me...

Christwire, including such AWESOME pieces of investigative journalism as:

"Legos: How One Vulgar, Ambidextrous Toy Opened the Door for Gay 'Marriage' in Denmark"

"Is My Child Engaging In Oral Sodomy?"

"Hipstersexuals: The Obnoxious Ninjas of Terrorism"

And an absolute shitload of material about how US candy ravers are secretly bumsex fiends:

http://christwire.org/category/values/gayagenda/

If I had the time, I would join Christwire's investigative team.

the source of Mark's amusement ;

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/t0ynr/throwaway_time_whats_your_secret_that_could/

Having read it (geddit) all I have to say what people do on the quiet is sickening.

On the plus side the thread is actually quite supportive rather than the usual 'ha-ha-poke-poke' of the internet.

bigdaddy wrote:That reminds me...

Christwire, including such AWESOME pieces of investigative journalism as:

"Legos: How One Vulgar, Ambidextrous Toy Opened the Door for Gay 'Marriage' in Denmark"

"Is My Child Engaging In Oral Sodomy?"

"Hipstersexuals: The Obnoxious Ninjas of Terrorism"

And an absolute shitload of material about how US candy ravers are secretly bumsex fiends:

http://christwire.org/category/values/gayagenda/

If I had the time, I would join Christwire's investigative team.

It's too American for my eyes! It hurts!

I did have a chuckle at this though ;

Sherrers wrote:the source of Mark's amusement ;

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/t0ynr/throwaway_time_whats_your_secret_that_could/

Having read it (geddit) all I have to say what people do on the quiet is sickening.

On the plus side the thread is actually quite supportive rather than the usual 'ha-ha-poke-poke' of the internet.

That really surpirsed me. If it is to be believed it's quite an interesting concept and probably says a lot more about humanity than my tiny brain can figure out.

That Christwire site is blocked from work, reason 'tasteless'

Fandango Widewheels wrote:I read this over the weekend and was proper taken aback. Basically someone set up an experiement to allow people to post 'what secret could ruin their lives if it came out'.

Now there's some pretty dark stuff on there which you can probably imagine. But this one had me in fits. Get past the bit about his cousins wake.

However, if there’s one post that seemed to “make” this thread (if that’s even possible), it’s this one from (non-throwaway account!) Lynfect:

Cousin died when we were both seventeen. There was a reception at his house just after the funeral. I went into his room and stole all the money that was there, took some other valuables that his parents wouldn’t realize were gone. No one knows that I did it, they just assumed he didn’t have any money in his room, only loose change. I don’t regret it, but I will never admit I did it.

Also my cum box.

Wow, I can’t believe he stole from his c—… WAIT, WHAT? Cum box? Someone requested, “Please elaborate on this cum box, please.” Lynfect, to everyone’s horror, did exactly that:

Well, it is exactly what it sounds like. It’s a shoebox, or at least once was, and whenever I masturbate I cum into it. I’ve had it for two or three years now I think, so it has a fair amount of cum. It smells atrocious, and I tried to burn it once. When I lit it on fire, it was too damp due to the cum that it simply sizzled and didn’t manage to actually lite up. Turns out burning cum smells awful, so I had to spray it with a deodorant body spray just to get the old smell of burnt cum away. It also has some drenched papers stuck to it. That’s pretty much it.

Because people were asking, my greatest shame. (Ed: “my greatest shame” links to an actual fucking imgur gallery of his cum box.)

EDIT 2: A lot of people are asking me, why? Well, I’m apparently a rather disturbed individual. But, it just kind of happened, bought new shoes and needed someplace to cum, used the box. It just escalated from there, kept using it each time, telling myself I would throw it out soon. Never did, two or three years later, I still have it. It was planned or anything, it just happened.

EDIT 3: Fuck, this really exploded. ~20,000+ views of my cum box. Did not expect this.

And to think I’ve only used my old shoeboxes to store shoes. What was I thinking???

So wait, he tried to burn it? Like, to destroy it, but in the smelliest way possible? And then he deodorized it, got some papers stuck it, and kept it? Oh man, this is just about the weirdest confession you or I will ever read.

And he shared photos of it! I removed the gallery link from the quote because I didn’t want anyone clicking on the link and, I dunno, not finishing this article because they weren’t ready to look at photos of a fucking cum box.

I guess it’s not too surprising? It’s just a stained, burned shoebox with some kinda charred wax in it (Spoiler alert: it is not wax). If you really, really want to see it, fine. Here’s a link. Lynfect’s cum box imgur gallery

Here's a link to the website for anyone who feels like being disturbed a bit more

http://slacktory.com/2012/05/reddit-what-secret-could-ruin-your-life-if-it-came-out-thread/

WOW. Has anyone clicked onto the 'other' threads / photos mentioned in that thread? Please don't!!

I'm liking this a lot ;

http://twitter.com/#!/BanksyIdeas

Sherrers wrote:

all the funnier because it made me look by being tiny

RvZ wrote:I'm liking this a lot ;

[url=http://twitter.com/#!/BanksyIdeas

http://twitter.com/#!/BanksyIdeas[/quote[/url]]

hahahaha that's ace.

I fell out with Banksy after watching this:

www.channel4.com/programmes/graffiti-wars/4od

Being the philistine that I am I didn't realise he was blatantly ripping off a French graffiti artist and was a proper nob towards King Robbo.

there is two sides to every tale

Jon is a good mate of Robin everybody!