Rumours About Our Timmy

The rumours start here.

I genuinely heard he had killed someone in Ibiza about 2 years ago.

I think we should start some rumours about his absence.

The killing of the mong was a genuine classic ibiza rumour.


I heard he smashed his ridiculous Hairdresser's car on the m1.

Rumours i have totally 100% heard about Tim.


he is gay
he is Bi
he wants to kill Clive Henry
he was Smokin' Jo's paid 'beard'
he killed someone in Ibiza (that's a classic)
he was "Jive Bunny"
he knocked out Derek Dahlarge in the booth at Space
he is not a very good DJ (perpetuated mostly by part time DJs co-incidentally)
he is much older than he looks
he is a heroin addict (heard that about 2 weeks ago)



I heard his recent absence is due to him joining the Jesuits.

Some of them are actually true

I heard he has moved to Monaco for Tax reasons and a massive gambling habit.

Token Bird wrote:Rumours i have totally 100% heard about Tim.


he is gay
he is Bi
he wants to kill Clive Henry
he was Smokin' Jo's paid 'beard'
he killed someone in Ibiza (that's a classic)
he was "Jive Bunny"
he knocked out Derek Dahlarge in the booth at Space
he is not a very good DJ (perpetuated mostly by part time DJs co-incidentally)
he is much older than he looks
he is a heroin addict (heard that about 2 weeks ago)



I heard his recent absence is due to him joining the Jesuits.

At least 3 of those are 100% facts

I heard he can tear a telephone directory in half. True.

And that he bypassed the fire alarm that was spoiling a house party.


My new rumour is he is entirely made of biscuit bits.

last time I saw tim he spnt 1/2 n hour tellin me how much he hated gossip

i reckon hes finally gone full hermit

he's actually a steam powered robot built by the victorians to spy on future generations

timmy update.

spoke to him today he was knee deep in DIY. He is now online but emails backed up to the bumhole.

Confirmed. He has actually been using al the mental powertools he has. I've seen it with my own eyes. Sheridan. Working. Like a real person. With his hands.

I'm Alive!

Ye Olde Rog wrote:Confirmed. He has actually been using al the mental powertools he has. I've seen it with my own eyes. Sheridan. Working. Like a real person. With his hands.

fuck off or I will show everyone your DIY efforts. You know what I am talking about. I have the evidence.

exhibit A please tim!

release the evidence! release the evidence!

have you got your labourer's hands back yet? you were moaning to me your lovely girlish hands are ruined. I think you even used the words "hand cream" you MASSIVE soft jessie.

Front page of the Forum.
Soft As Shite Overpaid DJ In Manual Labour Shocker.
'Hands are Ruined' whines victim of DIY embarassment.

wot DIY are you doin Tim?

its my area of expertize as you know, i can offer mates rates

Token Bird wrote:Rumours i have totally 100% heard about Tim.


he is gay
he is Bi
he wants to kill Clive Henry
he was Smokin' Jo's paid 'beard'
he killed someone in Ibiza (that's a classic)
he was "Jive Bunny"
he knocked out Derek Dahlarge in the booth at Space
he is not a very good DJ (perpetuated mostly by part time DJs co-incidentally)
he is much older than he looks
he is a heroin addict (heard that about 2 weeks ago)



I heard his recent absence is due to him joining the Jesuits.

never mind all that! which of the rumours are true ?

welcome back tim

cheers Wookers it's good to be back.

Jonny Boy wrote:

Token Bird wrote:Rumours i have totally 100% heard about Tim.


he is gay
he is Bi
he wants to kill Clive Henry
he was Smokin' Jo's paid 'beard'
he killed someone in Ibiza (that's a classic)
he was "Jive Bunny"
he knocked out Derek Dahlarge in the booth at Space
he is not a very good DJ (perpetuated mostly by part time DJs co-incidentally)
he is much older than he looks
he is a heroin addict (heard that about 2 weeks ago)



I heard his recent absence is due to him joining the Jesuits.

never mind all that! which of the rumours are true ?

to be honest none of them are true and I have heard a LOT worse.

Good to see you back round these parts Tim! You got t'internet sorted now?

elrusto wrote:Good to see you back round these parts Tim! You got t'internet sorted now?

no

scarlet pimpernel wrote:wot DIY are you doin Tim?

its my area of expertize as you know, i can offer mates rates

I'm doing the bodge-it-and-cut-your-hands-to-shreds-really-boring-backbreaking kind. Is there another type of DIY?

It's not really DIY if I pay you to do it

Tim the correct answer is "my DJ Butler is doing it".



you've got to stop dispelling the myths about DJs. It's depressing me

You looking for a future in the DJ biz Jonny?

a lot of people are trying just to have a present in the biz Al.

It is tough out there but I think that goes for everybody at the moment.

Sherrers wrote:

Ye Olde Rog wrote:Confirmed. He has actually been using al the mental powertools he has. I've seen it with my own eyes. Sheridan. Working. Like a real person. With his hands.

fuck off or I will show everyone your DIY efforts. You know what I am talking about. I have the evidence.

my garden is immaculate and a thing of beauty. how dare you!

Ye Olde Rog wrote:

Sherrers wrote:

Ye Olde Rog wrote:Confirmed. He has actually been using al the mental powertools he has. I've seen it with my own eyes. Sheridan. Working. Like a real person. With his hands.

fuck off or I will show everyone your DIY efforts. You know what I am talking about. I have the evidence.

my garden is immaculate and a thing of beauty. how dare you!

ok you asked for it.


lady and gentlemen, may I present his Lordship's tour de farce... "A Bridge Too Short"

Gaaah! you twat!

it was one of those B&Q-japanese-bridge-impulse-buy-moments. Everyone has them.

Sherrers wrote:

Ye Olde Rog wrote:

Sherrers wrote:

Ye Olde Rog wrote:Confirmed. He has actually been using al the mental powertools he has. I've seen it with my own eyes. Sheridan. Working. Like a real person. With his hands.

fuck off or I will show everyone your DIY efforts. You know what I am talking about. I have the evidence.

my garden is immaculate and a thing of beauty. how dare you!

ok you asked for it.


lady and gentlemen, may I present his Lordship's tour de farce... "A Bridge Too Short"

Hahahahaha. Are all your servants oompa lumpas lord Rog?

What the fuck is that all about if not?

hahahaha!

I LOVE that this forum is becoming all about gardening disasters.


A Bridge Too Short.


priceless.

Ye Olde Rog wrote:Gaaah! you twat!

it was one of those B&Q-japanese-bridge-impulse-buy-moments. Everyone has them.

No.


No they don't.


Only you do.