Uncle Dickies Agony corner. Problems solved, answers given & blow jobs...

Hello my little sweetie dahrlings & welcome to agony corner where I can give silly answers to pathetic questions. Nothing to silly or profound ignored!
Dad shagging your bird?
Flatulent?
Sooooo good looking that people don't think they're worthy so you haven't shagged in years?
We can fix everything here!

I've got hair in strange places and my voice goes all funny and I have feelings about girls...

Jonny Boy wrote:I've got hair in strange places and my voice goes all funny and I have feelings about girls...

It's all normal, you have nothing to worrie about (apart from the girl bit.... Yuck!)

This will help: http://www.amazon.com/b?ie=UTF8&node=234949011
& so will this, just gargle sweetie: http://www.health911.com/remedies/rem_soret.htm

... & stay away from girls, in fact, throw rocks at them. They're all mad.
Do you know why they wear make up & perfume? Because they're ugly & they smell.

I hope this helps?
Uncle Dicky.

I do not understand english humor. or english can you help me Mr Dickie?

dear Uncle Dickie

I get terrible rambler's chaffing.

Juanito wrote:I do not understand english humor. or english can you help me Mr Dickie?

No problem sir, 2 places for you to visit:
http://www.rosettastone.com/
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_can_a_person_get_a_sense_of_humor

Bless,
Uncle Dicky

Sherrers wrote:dear Uncle Dickie

I get terrible rambler's chaffing.

We have just the thing for you sweetie:
http://www.mothernature.com/Library/Bookshelf/Books/19/46.cfm

Lots of love from Uncle Dicky

Juanito wrote:I do not understand english humor. or english can you help me Mr Dickie?

...after all. Where would we be without humour?






















Germany.

Ye Olde Rog wrote:

Juanito wrote:I do not understand english humor. or english can you help me Mr Dickie?

...after all. Where would we be without humour?






















Germany.

Bwaaahahahahaha!

The Lord has embarrassed me on so many occasions with his 1950's xenophobe humour I don't know where to start

Must dash sweeties, I'll be back to answer more of your questions & solve more of your problems very soon.

Hi uncle Dickie
This is actually a problem that a friend of mine has, he seems to have a thing for alsation dogs and its getting a bit out of hand.
He makes them wear sports socks so they dont scratch his back and he smears pedigree chum over the back of his neck to encourage them to climb a bit further up.
His girlfriend is started to suspect things with all the dog hairs in his bed too.
Any advice on how I can get him to give up his dark secret?

I feel terrible and have to work all day. What should i do Uncle Dickie?

I'm a beard stroking techno fan addicted to abusing those with inferior musical tastes on internet message boards. Any suggestions on how I rid myself of such curses?

jim_kezzle wrote:Hi uncle Dickie
This is actually a problem that a friend of mine has, he seems to have a thing for alsation dogs and its getting a bit out of hand.
He makes them wear sports socks so they dont scratch his back and he smears pedigree chum over the back of his neck to encourage them to climb a bit further up.
His girlfriend is started to suspect things with all the dog hairs in his bed too.
Any advice on how I can get him to give up his dark secret?

Not really my speciality but I had a friend with a similar problem only he used to fuck them.
I told him "That's disgusting, how low can you get:.
He replied "About a Jack Russel.

anyway, I digress.
Please inform your friends mrs, it's his only hope & if he's still having problems, he can get more information here:
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Can_a_human_have_sex_with_dogs

Bishop666 wrote:I feel terrible and have to work all day. What should i do Uncle Dickie?

Quite simple, call in sick & go to the doctors.
Bless.

Mr.C wrote:

jim_kezzle wrote:Hi uncle Dickie
This is actually a problem that a friend of mine has, he seems to have a thing for alsation dogs and its getting a bit out of hand.
He makes them wear sports socks so they dont scratch his back and he smears pedigree chum over the back of his neck to encourage them to climb a bit further up.
His girlfriend is started to suspect things with all the dog hairs in his bed too.
Any advice on how I can get him to give up his dark secret?

Not really my speciality but I had a friend with a similar problem only he used to fuck them.
I told him "That's disgusting, how low can you get:.
He replied "About a Jack Russel.

anyway, I digress.
Please inform your friends mrs, it's his only hope & if he's still having problems, he can get more information here:
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Can_a_human_have_sex_with_dogs

thanks uncle dickie

Uncle Dickie is a bit of a sickie innee?

Mr.C wrote:

Bishop666 wrote:I feel terrible and have to work all day. What should i do Uncle Dickie?

Quite simple, call in sick & go to the doctors.
Bless.

I wonder how some smart arse put links to 2 words in my post.
See simple & call in the above post!
Hmmm?

Blame the google nazis watching us from the federal research centre


(i'm working on it)


here ;

Sherrers wrote:The Lord has embarrassed me on so many occasions with his 1950's xenophobe humour I don't know where to start

With Mr Sheridans vast vocabularyI'm normally hunting for the dictionary.However on this occasion I actually knew what xenophobe ment! I'm so proud of that.(even though I'm 31)

Seeley wrote:

Sherrers wrote:The Lord has embarrassed me on so many occasions with his 1950's xenophobe humour I don't know where to start

With Mr Sheridans vast vocabularyI'm normally hunting for the dictionary.However on this occasion I actually knew what xenophobe ment! I'm so proud of that.(even though I'm 31)

its them weird monsters from hellraiser isnt it?

tell us one of Roger's gaffs then!

I think either our trip across europe by train to go skiing or perhaps just picking up one of our German friends in Ibiza has enough to tickle but I'd best stop telling tales about Rog willy nilly he needs to acknowledge or give permission I think

Rog?

come on Roger! give us clearance. You've been refreshingly free of restraint so far

you mean Sheridan has.

Go ahead... my reputation is in tatters as it is

is he upset? I can never tell.

Mr.C wrote:

Bishop666 wrote:I feel terrible and have to work all day. What should i do Uncle Dickie?

Quite simple, call in sick & go to the doctors.
Bless.

Cheers Unc.

I was a bit naughty at the weekend and it spilled into today meaning I didn't go to work.(i'm throughly annoyed at myself, but i'll get over it.)

If I get sacked what the fuck am I going to do?

Al wrote:is he upset? I can never tell.

no!