Clarkson Logic

I honestly got a text from you-know-who that he hadn't put on weight it was that his leather belt got shrunk when he went in the river.

Post other forms of insane man-logic here.

Gawd knows there are enough of you.

Thanks for that!

boot varnish.

case closed

Getting a fried egg out of the pan with a fork. Easy.

T.B wrote:I honestly got a text from you-know-who that he hadn't put on weight it was that his leather belt got shrunk when he went in the river.

Post other forms of insane man-logic here.

Gawd knows there are enough of you.

I remember when Clarkson Logic came in handy though. When you didn't know that cars tyres needed changing (or regularly inflating) and were convinced the sleeping policemen of London had made your car an uncomfortable ride. When in fact it was because for years you'd been driving around on the rims. Years. Not months.

ok

anyway what's the point of knowing about car stuff it's what man are for.

It's a good concept for a thread though. So we are looking for examples of when blokes use logic to argue around something really daft?

Yeah but I think it might be a bit on the subtle side for you lot.

I probably do this a million times a day but don't realise it. I'm sure the CMD could weigh in with plenty of examples.

is she going to come on here or are you going to quiz her?

I'll quiz her. The internet is too scary for her.

My fave bit of relentless Clarkson Logic is the way Rog always follows his Sat Nav no matter what insanity is going on out the windows.

Like the way Ron Burgundy always reads what's on the autocue.

The ridiculous excuses he comes out with are too numerous to recount. Basically he is always incredibly late (average is a min 2 hours late), the reason is always because he followed the Sat Nav and he will never ever listen to the advice of someone else. Particularly when the journey is really important and the way might be tricky.

"Don't come that way mate, the road is shut and the tailback is 6 miles long. Come the other much faster way..."

Cue everything being missed, canceled and costing double.

Missed, canceled and costing double like a fox

my all time fave Rogerism

When each of you 'fesses up to some Clarkson Logic I will do a FASH REPORT.

That might involve some creative thought so I wouldn't hold your breath

My mate uses the argument that smoking is good for him cos he gets a tight chest when he stops

Now that is Clarkson Logic!

Finally.

Now the rest of you.

Come on!

I have TERRIBLE MANFLU. Is that close enough? It sounds exactly like the kind of thing that would have Clarkson wailing and rending his garments.

No it's not really Clarkson as in Jeremy Clarkson. But it is about being insanely dense in the face of logic.

It's like when Sheridan used posh yacht varnish instead of polish on his boots because it's "better" and "you only have to do it once".

you are basically asking a load of daft men to admit to being daft men.


not going to happen

I get on the bus at the front cos I think I will get there ever so slightly before everyone else.

I drove around for years in the highest gear possible (6th gear in a 30mph zone) cos I thought it was more fuel efficient.

Turns out it's the opposite.

only if you dont overwork your gearbox

I think wearing odd socks brings me good luck.



I also think that if I touch something that may give me an electric shock really quickly, it wont give me an elctric shock.

Bishop wrote:
I also think that if I touch something that may give me an electric shock really quickly, it wont give me an elctric shock.

now THAT is top Clarkson logic Sir.

I do this thing where I push the big gates in the drive open really gingerly with my car's bumper. I don't know why as I pass the gates that don't shut properly as I get into the motor. Then I get out after and shut them as best they can be shut.

I always feel really pleased when I do it without hurting my car. One day I will hurt my car says the wife.

She's ruining my morning nudge.

RvZ wrote:I do this thing where I push the big gates in the drive open really gingerly with my car's bumper. I don't know why as I pass the gates that don't shut properly as I get into the motor. Then I get out after and shut them as best they can be shut.

I always feel really pleased when I do it without hurting my car. One day I will hurt my car says the wife.

She's ruining my morning nudge.

The big gates to your vast estate.