What is the stupidest everyday thing you have done?

Today I was very cross that there was nothing proper to eat when I got in so I got a tin of beans and as is often the case when I am cross, I pulled the ring clear off the tin.

I spent the next half hour looking for tools to open it. I broke a fingernail off and snapped a knife in two trying to open it.

35 minutes later I remembered tin openers still exist.

Not a stupid thing i have done but a female friend of mine did a real stupid thing at my house the other week.

I have a light in the kitchen that hangs down to about my head level. Its a large metal light with a large bulb on it, which everyone including me bangs their head on. Anyway in a fit of rage having banged my head i gave the light a quick jab with the left and then a fierce haymaker with the right, denting the metal part and smashing the light bulb to bits. (it felt real good).

So my mate comes round the other week and she starts buggering about with the remains of the light and says that she will get the remaining broken bit of light bulb out of it. She promptly sticks her finger in the light and ends up sat on her arse having got an electric shock. Stupid and brilliant.

haha!

nice.


I once mowed the end of my sandal off and did not notice how close I'd come to crippling myself for life for the whole day. In fact it wasn't til I put my up on the coffee table about 6 hours after the event.

Hahaha. excellent.

I hope you had the obligatory white socks on with your sandals?

I did a fanny fart at an interview cos I was really nervous and left a menstrual stain on the WHITE sofa I was being interviewed on.

Bahahahahah.

Token Bird wrote:I did a fanny fart at an interview cos I was really nervous and left a menstrual stain on the WHITE sofa I was being interviewed on.

girls dont fart

tell me thats a big lie

im aghast here

fanny fart Wookie.

from a VAGINA

*watches men all pull a face*


pussies

gusset gas will get you into trouble

A tuppence trump or truppence as my good lady calls them also referred to as a tuppy tickler.

I much prefer minge mumble. But thats just me.

I stuck a metal knife in a toaster once.

Results were predictably bad.

I leapt on a BMX with no saddle and it wasn't even when I was a kid

Swallowed the Canestan pessary. Twice.

was that to get rid of a bird in your throat?

last night I couldn't sleep cos my legs were so sore from driving all weekend.

So I sprayed deep heat all over my legs.

And my balls and arsehole.


Not recommended.


Ever.

Sherrers wrote:last night I couldn't sleep cos my legs were so sore from driving all weekend.

So I sprayed deep heat all over my legs.

And my balls and arsehole.


Not recommended.


Ever.

ooooh

A mate of mine has just moved into his first house. As a gift, his grandmother gave him an antic set of drawers to go in his bedroom. Which after quite a struggle they managed to fit into the boot of his car. On the second night I decided to pop round and share a few beers with him plus have a glance at the new house.

As time progressed and after many beers I learnt about the set of drawers in the boot. Disappearing of on my own I managed to carry the whole set of drawers from the car in through the front door and to the bottom of the steps. By this point my legs, back and arms were killing. So for some support I leaned the drawers onto the handrail. This was great has it took much of the weight. So I thought I would slide it up the handrail than attempt to carry it up the stairs.

Still at this stage my mate had not even realised that I had been gone. Half way up the stairs the handrail ripped straight of the wall. I rolled backwards down the stairs, with the draws rolling over me. With an all mighty smash they crashed into the door which broke the glass, punched a whole in the wall and finally smashed the drawers to bits.

I felt rather bad about that one.

Sherrers wrote:

Exactly!!

My dad, who is let's say not a young man, was moving out.

I did most of the lifting but he is a bloke and hates watching other people sweat he always pitches in.

He has a bionic hip and other medical issues.

Rather than empty the 6 ft tall steel filing cabinet that he kept his documents in we thought we could man-handle it down the stairs.

Most of you who have done removals know that the hard but is being at the top going downstairs as you have to bend.

My Dad slipped a bit, the smooth metal went flying out of my hands and the cabinet (weighed a LOT.... at least 200+ pounds) went flying down the stairs, taking my old Dad with it, he hit the bottom and the cabinet landed on him and even bounced.

I had definitely killed my dad.







My Dad just got up and went ;

"Don't do that again"


and picked up the thing and righted it.



He's 5ft 6 and over 70.






They don't make 'em like that anymore.

Good old dad.

Filing cabinets are fucking lethal.

again this didnt happen to me but a divvy lady in our matrimonial department opened 2 drawers at the same time and the fucking thing nearly ended up crushing her and smashing through to the ground floor when it fell over. very stupid.

Rrriot Guurl wrote:Swallowed the Canestan pessary. Twice.

I did that too!


and I'm a man... I'm unreliably informed by my broken mirror.


I can't even get into this subject as I probably eclipse you all daily on embarrassing fuck ups.


tim's Dad is a scary bloke it must be said. He has one of those steely looks that go right through you.

I've done it too. I think it's one of those thrush-related fanny-ups that always happens to first timers.


oh DO tell us some of your everyday disasters Roger.



Why is your mirror broken? Are you hideously deformed but romantic like Beauty and the Beast or Quasimodo?

why is it named after a bird?

shouldn't it be called fanny burn or something?

Why is The Clap named after a positive acclamation?


It should be called "The Boo" or something.

hahaha

that would be funny, whats wrong with you?

i've got the boo, boo

Token Bird wrote:I've done it too. I think it's one of those thrush-related fanny-ups that always happens to first timers.


oh DO tell us some of your everyday disasters Roger.



Why is your mirror broken? Are you hideously deformed but romantic like Beauty and the Beast or Quasimodo?

"excuse me! I'd like to return this broken mirror, it makes me look like this :

Token Bird wrote:
Why is your mirror broken? Are you hideously deformed but romantic like Beauty and the Beast or Quasimodo?

LOL. You realise you have to kiss him to find out which?

bigdaddy wrote:

Token Bird wrote:
Why is your mirror broken? Are you hideously deformed but romantic like Beauty and the Beast or Quasimodo?

LOL. You realise you have to kiss him to find out which?

hahah.

*roger rubs knees enthusiastically*

bigdaddy wrote:

Token Bird wrote:
Why is your mirror broken? Are you hideously deformed but romantic like Beauty and the Beast or Quasimodo?

LOL. You realise you have to kiss him to find out which?

sadly it's a lottery as only one of those options changes in to something better....

*who wants to be a millionaire drama music*

Now you're down to The Beast or Quasimodo.... what are you going for TB. Remember you've used all your lifelines...

oh... I really don't don't know... I know ONE of them turns into a handsome prince... Quasimodo! I'll go for Quasimodo

That's your final answer?

Quasimodo!!