Frankie Knuckles' Gardening Tips

Al wrote:ah the joy of gardening today!!

there is something strangely soothing about just digging.

especially after weeks of changing Paxman's underpants etc etc

now... what am I going to do with this mountain of weeds that have accumulated in the last year?

Don't say I have to tell you? You will be black balled from our virtual chelsea flower show if I have to tell you

The answer is not 'put it in the green bag for the council' either....

I did read somewhere, that plants do like a bit of Viagra...??

Sherrers wrote:

Al wrote:ah the joy of gardening today!!

there is something strangely soothing about just digging.

especially after weeks of changing Paxman's underpants etc etc

now... what am I going to do with this mountain of weeds that have accumulated in the last year?

Don't say I have to tell you? You will be black balled from our virtual chelsea flower show if I have to tell you

The answer is not 'put it in the green bag for the council' either....

Yes you have to tell me! it's making my garden and by proxy my reputation look very untidy.

I bet your scruffy garden is the talk of the Post Office queue Al.

'Well if thats what his garden is like can you imagine what it's like inside the house?'

They will also be questioning your personal hygiene and saying you have tagnuts.

I know. I may never be invited to play bridge again!

Broadhead wrote:I bet your scruffy garden is the talk of the Post Office queue Al.

'Well if thats what his garden is like can you imagine what it's like inside the house?'

They will also be questioning your personal hygiene and saying you have tagnuts.

Dangleberrys.

Sorry

See also:

Whinnets, or my own personal favourite, arse biscuits.

Al wrote:

Sherrers wrote:

Al wrote:ah the joy of gardening today!!

there is something strangely soothing about just digging.

especially after weeks of changing Paxman's underpants etc etc

now... what am I going to do with this mountain of weeds that have accumulated in the last year?

Don't say I have to tell you? You will be black balled from our virtual chelsea flower show if I have to tell you

The answer is not 'put it in the green bag for the council' either....

Yes you have to tell me! it's making my garden and by proxy my reputation look very untidy.

The Septics call it 'Mulching'. We call it Compost. Get to work you idle taxpayer bothering license-fee spunking goon!

But you can't put weeds back in the ground they will just grow back!

Broadhead wrote:See also:

Whinnets, or my own personal favourite, arse biscuits.

we called them

clingons or clinkers

i used to call a scruffy kid at work General Von Clinker.

Broadhead wrote:i used to call a scruffy kid at work General Von Clinker.

schoolyard rules

oh the simple joy of the british garden in full summer splendor

later to be strimmed to bits when our shit footballers ruin my life


ahhhhh

funnily enough I got rid of all the french cunts from my lawn

how gardens imitate life!

lovely


ahhhh

I can just see Al later, naming individual dandelions after the England squad and angrily chopping their heads off as he says their name through gritted teeth.

agent orange works a treat on the french bastards

I wish I could put up photos.

My roses are having it.

Sherrers wrote:I wish I could put up photos.

My roses are having it.

The animals.

boo.

gardening newsflash

much needed and overdue rain smashing for plants, also smashed all the flower petals off.


communication ends

Sherrers wrote:boo.

gardening newsflash

much needed and overdue rain smashing for plants, also smashed all the flower petals off.


communication ends

Sad times.

Sherrers wrote:boo.

gardening newsflash

much needed and overdue rain smashing for plants, also smashed all the flower petals off.


communication ends

Right gird your loins, comb your wife and hold your breath.

I'm going to pay The Ego a compliment. Not just any compliment. A gardener's big up if you will.

I am jealous of his garden.

There. I said it.

He's still a wanker though.

Roger in compliment shocker.

Recovers well with his last statement though.

I too have heard that the 'gardening leave' is doing wonders up north

Ta chaps!

I fucked it all up today though. Tried to kill my hangover with some extreme weeding.

Bit like when you shave a bit off the bottom of a chair leg to make it more stable and end up with 4 stumps... made a real mess of things today, then it rained so I had to leave all the shit everywhere.

Massive gardening error!

Two torrential (and I never use that word) i say TORRENTIAL downpours just killed my roses.

Not bruised, not knocked a few petals off... hammered them til there was nothing left.

Weather vandalism. Its the worst kind.

I have no flowers in my garden. My Tulips appear to have been dug up. I will find the fucker that did that and plant them in my garden.

tut

you go away and the mess you come back to in the garden,.,.

The nitrate has made the lawn so GREEN it makes your eyes hurt.

I forgot about edging. Spent all day yesterday trimming the edges and where it meets stone using big scissors. It was the missing X factor.

That and washing the stones flags and gravel.

Some Zen-like raking of the paths was also involved.

My lovely hands are ruined.

I'm a very happy gardener today.

I have a serious weed and bald patch situation. Attemptied to remedy both this weekend so fingers crossed.