VVWI

veryverywrongindeed recordings


    Now THAT'S what I call VVWI 01

    Jnr DJ
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    Post  Jnr DJ on Thu May 03, 2012 12:11 am

    Go to your favourite old bits. Press 'quote' and paste the whole thing onto here.

    BigDaddy's idea. Needed doing.
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    Post  bigdaddy on Thu May 03, 2012 3:21 am

    Sherrers wrote:
    bigdaddy wrote:You know if this thread hits 20 pages, we're allowed to have a new, "best of" thread.

    Sorry Jnr! OK, you start, cause then I can pull this out of the cupboard again





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    Post  Sherrers on Thu May 03, 2012 3:30 am

    Now THAT'S what I call VVWI 01 GaryDog1b
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    Post  Sherrers on Thu May 03, 2012 3:36 am

    T.B wrote:
    NOT.
    Hippies. so WRONGGGG. Does not matter WHAT haughty look you have on your boat race girl you cannot rock it looking like an ethnic canoe without a frame.

    Now THAT'S what I call VVWI 01 4210
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    Post  Sherrers on Thu May 03, 2012 3:50 am

    Broadhead wrote:There is a hairdressers in Rothwell (Kites) and the Italian fella that worked there (Rossi) used to specialise in flat-tops. He charged £6 for a normal cut but added £2 for a flat top as it was harder to do. £8 for a frigging flat top? madness!

    Then when he had finished he would he would hold the mirror at the back of your head, as all skilled hair technicians do, and exclaim 'Datza nice and fresh'.
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    Post  Jnr DJ on Thu May 03, 2012 11:43 pm

    Sherrers wrote:

    yes yes my man Like a Star @ heaven Like a Star @ heaven Like a Star @ heaven Like a Star @ heaven Like a Star @ heaven
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    Post  RvZ on Thu May 03, 2012 11:52 pm

    Sherrers wrote:Jemima Futtock
    Anethema Device
    Mister Badcrankhandle
    Noddy Tuffett
    Miss Barley-Legal
    Pontius Grime
    David Littlewinky
    Oberon Overwrought
    Hob Scuttle
    Neff Busywinkle
    Old Mr Dudgeon
    Horace Awfulsceme
    Father Pissflapps
    The Late Geoffrey Witherwiddle
    Olive Fluffygussette
    Alice Knee
    Wallace Wetwang
    Doctor Koff
    Charity Peckersniff
    Bam Wheezle
    Odbert Strange
    Mrs Headley Dangerhole
    Brim Titch
    Norbert Crumm
    Holly Tattletit
    Hubert Dirge
    Glob Throat
    Nicholas Knickernicker
    Ignatius Crack
    Lady Forgiveness Blitherwhindle
    Morton Handle
    Miss Crisp
    Cholmondeley "Chummy" Grease
    Nat Spart
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    Jim Spring
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    Tom Tiggywiggle
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    Post  Rrriot Guurl on Thu May 03, 2012 11:56 pm

    always loved this

    Now THAT'S what I call VVWI 01 Vvwi_m13
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    Post  Son of Nod on Thu May 03, 2012 11:59 pm

    Ye Olde Rog Yesterday at 2:01 pm
    In the Faversham he double bummed some E's because he'd heard it was what all the girls were doing. He then did the worst breakdancing in the world, span on his head on the large sandpaper doormat and burned bits off his scalp so it looked like he had alopecia for a month. Then he disappeared to the toilet and came back in a Riddler jumpsuit (and stuffed something to make his arse as big as house into it) and shouted (with fully bleeding scalp) :

    "Riddle me this! Riddle me that! why am I such a fucking twat?!"

    and fell over.
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    Post  Jonny Boy on Fri May 04, 2012 12:02 am

    Now THAT'S what I call VVWI 01 Tiny_s10
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    Post  tanit on Fri May 04, 2012 12:13 am

    Broadhead wrote:
    Sherrers wrote:Now THAT'S what I call VVWI 01 Rawhea10

    RAAA my arse is MONSTROUSLY painful...RAAA

    This is why the internet was invented.

    Solid gold. Right there.
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    Post  tanit on Fri May 04, 2012 12:15 am

    T.B wrote:
    Broadhead wrote:Like males over the age of 15 in slogan-emblazoned T-Shirts?

    Or indeed Primark?


    Nothing wrong with Primarni! except all the sweatshops and kiddie exploitation. Pfffft! as if ANYTHING could stop FASHION. Anyway at least those poor exploited chillen get to look FABULOUS. Or maybe smell it a bit between beatings. Better than nothing.

    T-Shirts. Oohhhh Dear.

    Exhibit A.
    In about 3000 BT (before T-shirt) it was a more innocent time. Everyone pranced about with nothing on except VERY LARGE hair, rocked the MILKMAID LOOK and had armour and ACORN HATS. (Acorn hats? yeah..history man). Guitars were very wee and the keyboard stand was just a crazy bit of SCI FI yet to happen. Everyone stood with their feet WAAAY too far apart so in general it was a very unstable time. Both for standing up and for fashion.
    Now THAT'S what I call VVWI 01 Img_0210

    Exhibit B.
    Then some bright spark was a bit chilly so the vest was invented. My own theory is that in a matriarchal society GIRLZ got well sick of MOOBZ and knocked up a vest out of a sack just to keep our lunch down.
    So anyway while we GIRLZ was all going "Oh Man I CANNOT WAIT for like big powdered wigs, Satin and shit" naughty boys were putting little sleeves on their vests or at least getting their MUMMY to.
    Eventually when it became Planet of the Apes and men kicked the shit out of us and dunked us in stinky ponds until we drowned (if innocent) and burned us alive in a bag (if innocent) as part of their lap of victory one bright spark goes :
    "Dude. I'm sick of wearing CLOTHES. Let's make what is basically our MAN-BRA into legit DAYWEAR! I know? I'm amazing!".
    And a lot of men agreed. As they do. Yay and alright and high fives everywhere. Then after the 1950's possibly the son of the previous genius goes ;
    "Hey all you lazy fuckers who are also my brothers! listen up! YES we are basically mincing about in our MANBRAZ so I suggest we add the ULTIMATE AMOUNT OF AWESOMENESS to the situation and put our fav heavy metal bands on our top-underpants to disguise the fact we are in our top-underpants. WHO IS WITH ME??!
    These guys were ;
    Now THAT'S what I call VVWI 01 Heavym10

    And MANKIND NEVER HAD TO THINK ABOUT WHAT TO WEAR EVER AGAIN.

    They are like REALLY in a state of self deception that one T-SHIRT is somehow different to ANOTHER T-SHIRT. Colour… pic of a guitar… made in Japan by robot apes… STILL A T-SHIRT. A girl could lose faith at this point.

    Just when it couldn't get any WORSE.

    EXHIBIT C.
    You have seen them. 42 years old hanging around under the Westway or near children. Wobbling about Shoreditch on a kiddies bike with a tiny wee hat on like one of them monkeys collecting pity money for his pet bloke. SKATERZ. The lowest of the low. T-shirt criminals and enemies of all things right.
    Look at them here. FOOLZ I don't have to say anything else at all.
    Now THAT'S what I call VVWI 01 Lil-wa10


    Exhibit D.
    Then all men go "but TB TB! are we fucked or what? what is the future for us poor lost chillen?"

    I say. LOOK at your crimes. Get down with your past before you talk to me about having a future. MEN AT WORK? Doesn't WERQ. Sorry boyz.
    Now THAT'S what I call VVWI 01 Epic-f10
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    Post  Sherrers on Fri May 04, 2012 12:34 am


    Now THAT'S what I call VVWI 01 David_11
    T.B
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    Post  T.B on Fri May 04, 2012 12:41 am

    Now THAT'S what I call VVWI 01 Franki10

    I STRONGLY disapprove of your sexual gnomes children.
    Yes I do.

    It is not type of kind of Knuckle-shuffle I am proud of. That is a different dance altogether. One I invented. Rather than small stone perverts of satan's path. Which is a poorly constructed path, possibly of the outmoded and indecent "crazy" type. It's called "crazy" for a reason my children.

    This is not the Frankie Knuckle's way. NO sir.
    As you can see it goes against the photographic evidence. In here there is only LOVE and RESPECT and a very complimentary street name. I don't see no masturbatin' dwarves in this picture. And I do not want to.
    Now THAT'S what I call VVWI 01 Knuckl10
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    Post  T.B on Fri May 04, 2012 1:33 am

    Sherrers wrote:
    Ye Olde Rog wrote:
    Sherrers wrote:I think either our trip across europe by train to go skiing or perhaps just picking up one of our German friends in Ibiza has enough to tickle but I'd best stop telling tales about Rog willy nilly he needs to acknowledge or give permission I think Wink

    Rog?

    ah! our German friend. Nice lad. I don't know what you got all worked up about.

    You are of course referring to VVWI's very own Andre Crom. Who is a top lad.

    Roger was stopping with me in Ibiza for a week. I was DJing and we'd just arrived

    .... on a side note ; Rog had his funeral suit on that he'd had on the night before at My House and all the Ketoloco lads turned up in Ibiza and saw Roger and did a triple take as he was in exactly the same place (behind booth) in exactly same clothes. Their faces! ....

    anyway.... I was playing and I had totally forgotten Andre was coming and I had A) never met him despite him being on my label B) promised him a rollicking good time, pick him up at the airport etc and C) he's never been to Ibiza.....

    So I was DJing and thinking about solutions. The obvious solution of sending Rog, the only other person insured for my car... the nearest person in proximity even... the industry person who often picked up DJs from airports... never crossed my mind while I was racking my brains. Why? because I had never met Andre and sending Roger to pick up a VIP German was just idiotic. Roger is my best mate but this was just not and option...


    surely I'm overstating it?


    no


    this is the man who travelled by train with me across europe and left a trail of hilarious but dangerously xenophobic comments from Dover to Vienna (via France and Switzerland). This is the legend of when our train pulled in at the Swiss border and his Lordship couldn't find his wallet....

    "You need your passport Rog, The Swiss aren't in the EU. This is a border. The train won't move 'til we've all been seen"

    "Nonsense! it's only fucking Switzerland! it doesn't matter!"

    (bear in mind the train is packed with mostly Swiss, he says everything at the top of his voice)

    It does matter mate.

    "Bollocks! Chocolate! Cuckoo clocks! not a proper country."

    The Swiss border guards get on. Now Switzerland has proper national service. These lads have Heckler and Koch shooters and can use them. They are nice and polite going through the carriage and get to us and go ;

    "Passports!" And I oblige. By now his Lordship is frantically rummaging as he is basically faced with guns and his own folly.

    "Passport Bitte?" to Rog. Rog answers...

    "I can't bloody find it!" The guard spots obviously he is english, so nice as pie switches to fluent English ;

    "Your passport please Sir"

    Rog goes over his shoulder

    "Just give me 5 fucking minutes you massive snow nazi".

    The guy goes white and just turns to his mate. His mate looks really sad. They just turn around saying to each other "when will they ever forget?" or similar. They don't even come back they are so mortified.

    I was well annoyed and I go (whispering) "pssst... Rog you twat! we are guests! don't do that again if I'm there!"

    "What? The fucking snow nazis? ....neutral cunts. And they've still got the Jewish gold." (at full volume)


    ...the rest of the swiss passengers start moving away looking like this Shocked


    Anyway!


    so you see why I'd think twice about Roger picking up Andre....



    (to be continued....)

    I need a wee
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    Post  Sherrers on Fri May 04, 2012 1:45 am

    wookie wrote:Now THAT'S what I call VVWI 01 724349566521_64634
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    Post  T.B on Fri May 04, 2012 2:05 am

    Now THAT'S what I call VVWI 01 Worst-14
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    Post  RvZ on Fri May 04, 2012 2:07 am

    Now THAT'S what I call VVWI 01 Img_2810
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    Post  Son of Nod on Fri May 04, 2012 2:15 am

    T.B wrote:I did a fanny fart at an interview cos I was really nervous and left a menstrual stain on the WHITE sofa I was being interviewed on.
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    Post  Ye Olde Rog on Sat May 05, 2012 5:08 am

    I see I feature quite heavily. Which is only right and proper.
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    Post  Sherrers on Wed May 16, 2012 4:06 am

    Broadhead wrote:

    Physical activity. Unless it's sexy time, i just can't be bothered.

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    Post  Ye Olde Rog on Wed May 16, 2012 4:31 am

    bigdaddy wrote:"Ethan, you handled the anus beautifully."'
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    Post  Jnr DJ on Tue May 22, 2012 11:17 pm

    Broadhead wrote:Do you know what Sylvester? Even though it's only Monday, i do want to funk actually.

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    Post  Sherrers on Thu May 24, 2012 10:19 pm

    Bishop wrote:
    Sherrers wrote:Not enough topless Estonian trade for Daddy.

    This saturday just gone. Again. Thankfully I had just left.

    Now THAT'S what I call VVWI 01 535207_10151638065205123_551410122_23692409_692184511_n
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    Post  Sherrers on Wed Jun 06, 2012 9:18 am

    shAdy wrote:My brother took this video in Liverpool a few weeks back. Surely in the comedy busker top 3?
    Guess the well known soap theme....

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    Post  Sherrers on Tue Jul 24, 2012 2:17 am

    Broadhead wrote:Welcome to nerdsville. No one gets out awake Very Happy
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    Post  Sherrers on Thu Nov 01, 2012 2:12 am

    Bishop wrote:
    Now THAT'S what I call VVWI 01 22306_10100353243155292_928925181_n

    Sponsored content

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