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    Daddy's Guide to the Internet

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    bigdaddy
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    Daddy's Guide to the Internet

    Post  bigdaddy on Wed Apr 04, 2012 3:41 am

    "Screenshots of despair". It's even better than "unhappy hipsters".
    http://screenshotsofdespair.tumblr.com/page/2











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    Fandango Widewheels
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    Re: Daddy's Guide to the Internet

    Post  Fandango Widewheels on Thu Apr 05, 2012 1:12 am

    Laughing Laughing Laughing

    I like that, very clever.
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    Fandango Widewheels
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    Re: Daddy's Guide to the Internet

    Post  Fandango Widewheels on Thu Apr 05, 2012 1:14 am

    I'd not seen unhappy hipsters either, that made me chuckle as well.
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    T.B
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    Re: Daddy's Guide to the Internet

    Post  T.B on Thu Apr 05, 2012 7:20 pm

    THe Charlie Brown of the internet.
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    Fandango Widewheels
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    Re: Daddy's Guide to the Internet

    Post  Fandango Widewheels on Thu Apr 05, 2012 8:21 pm

    I'm shit at the internet. I have about 5 websites I visit regularly and that is it.

    I prefer books.
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    bigdaddy
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    Re: Daddy's Guide to the Internet

    Post  bigdaddy on Fri Apr 13, 2012 4:21 am

    http://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/animals-who-are-extremely-disappointed-in-you



    1. This Rabbit
    This rabbit feels like you always leave her out of your plans and she is beginning to wonder whether it mightn't be deliberate.
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    Sherrers
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    Re: Daddy's Guide to the Internet

    Post  Sherrers on Fri Apr 13, 2012 8:57 am

    I love it.
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    Sherrers
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    Re: Daddy's Guide to the Internet

    Post  Sherrers on Fri Apr 13, 2012 7:35 pm

    2. This Husky is annoyed at being disturbed in his office with yet more news of your misbehaviour, lack of commitment to the job and the simple fact of your being there...again. You're not just letting him down, the company down and all your colleagues...you're letting yourself down.

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    Ben
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    Re: Daddy's Guide to the Internet

    Post  Ben on Fri Apr 13, 2012 7:55 pm

    I think this is brilliant. Great for the times in the office where you want to shout "Noooooooooooooo!!"

    http://www.nooooooooooooooo.com/
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    RvZ
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    Re: Daddy's Guide to the Internet

    Post  RvZ on Fri Apr 13, 2012 7:56 pm

    Fandango Widewheels wrote:I'm shit at the internet. I have about 5 websites I visit regularly and that is it.

    I prefer books.

    What sites and what books? Just answer the question! Very Happy
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    Ben
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    Re: Daddy's Guide to the Internet

    Post  Ben on Sat Apr 14, 2012 12:30 am

    Top 10 crazy facts about Kim Jong II:

    10

    Supernatural



    The “Fact”: He had a supernatural birth

    According to North Korean historical literature, Kim Jong Il was born in a log cabin inside a secret base on Korea’s most sacred mountain, Mt. Paekdu. At the moment of his birth, a bright star lit up the sky, the seasons spontaneously changed from winter to spring, and rainbows appeared. This contradicts way less interesting Western accounts of his birth, which state the dictator was born in a guerilla camp in Russia, while his father was on the run from the Japanese.


    9
    Fashion Forward



    The “Fact”: He is a fashion trendsetter

    According to North Korea’s newspaper Rodong Sinmun, Kim Jong Il’s iconic style has become a global phenomenon. The inspired look of his zipped up khaki tunics with matching pants has been spreading across the world, an obvious testament to his outstanding image and influence. The paper didn’t mention the popularity of the 4 inch platform shoes Kim wears, but his oversized shades definitely seem to be a big hit with the women of Hollywood.


    8
    Loved the World Over



    The “Fact”: The world loves him
    According to state-run media, Kimg Jong Il is the most prominent statesman in the present world, and people in countries the whole planet over celebrate his birthday with films and festivals. In reality, most nations are confused by his erratic foreign policy decisions on important issues such as N. Korea’s nuclear program.

    Ratburgers



    The “Fact”: He invented the hamburger

    Since any American influences have long since been banned in his tiny communist country, Kim Jong Il had no choice but to create some new non-Western food by himself. North Korean newspaper Minju Joson reported that Kim Jong Il invented a new sandwich called “double bread with meat” in an attempt to provide “quality” food to university students. He then built a plant capable of mass hamburger production to feed his students and teachers, despite the fact that the majority of his citizens battle famine on a daily basis.

    Golfing Glory



    The “Fact”: He is the best natural golfer in history

    In 1994, it was reported by Pyongyang media outlets that Kim Jong Il shot 38 under par on a regulation 18-hole golf course – including 5 holes in one! That score is 25 shots better than the best round in history, and is made even more amazing by the fact that it was his first time playing the sport. It’s said Kim Jong Il would routinely sink 3 or 4 holes in one per round of golf, and – lucky for the PGA – he has since given it up.

    Addiction



    The Fact: If he gets addicted to a drug, everyone else does too

    According to a book written by one of Kim Jong Il’s ex-staff members, he was once injured by falling off his horse when it slipped on loose rocks. He was afraid of becoming addicted to the painkillers that his doctors prescribed him, so he had members of his administrative staff injected daily with the same dosages he had to take. He did this so he wouldn’t be the only one hooked on the drug.

    In the Movies



    The Fact: He once kidnapped a prominent director to film a Godzilla ripoff for him

    Shin Sang-ok, a South Korean filmmaker, was kidnapped by Kim Jong Il, sent to prison, and eventually forced to make a film called Pulgasari that was basically a communist propaganda version of Godzilla. After Shin and his wife managed to escape North Korea while location scouting in Austria, Kim Jong Il shelved Pulgasari and all of Shin’s other work. Kim Jong Il has since given specific instruction to his Ministry of Culture and his communist filmmakers: “Make more cartoons.”

    Hitler Much?



    The Fact: He had disabled and short people deported from his capital

    In preparation for the World Festival of Youth and Students in 1989, Kim Jong Il had disabled residents removed from Pyongyang. The government also distributed pamphlets advertising a wonder drug that would increase the height of short people. Those who responded to the pamphlets were sent away to different uninhabited islands along with the disabled in an attempt to rid the next generation of their supposedly substandard genes.

    Great Booze



    The Fact: At one time was the world’s biggest buyer of Hennessy

    For a few years in the early 1990s, it was confirmed by Hennessy that Kim Jong Il was it’s best customer, spending about $600,000 to $850,000 annually on the liquor. He is partial to the Paradis cognac, which can sell for over $700 per bottle. In comparison, the average North Korean makes about $1000 per year.

    City of Dreams



    The Fact: He maintains a city that was built just to be looked at

    Kijong-Dong is a propaganda city that was originally built in the 1950s by Kim Jong Il’s father right on the border, this was to display the North’s superiority to the South and also to encourage people to defect. It has no actual residents, but an extensive effort has been put forth to simulate a functioning city, including lights on set timers, and street sweepers to create an illusion of activity. The use of modern telescopes has revealed that the units lack window glass, and some buildings are just concrete shells that don’t even have interior rooms. The city also houses the world’s largest flagpole, complete with a 300lb. North Korean flag.

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    Ye Olde Rog
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    Re: Daddy's Guide to the Internet

    Post  Ye Olde Rog on Sat Apr 14, 2012 2:41 am

    tidy it up a bit lad!
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    T.B
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    Re: Daddy's Guide to the Internet

    Post  T.B on Sat Apr 14, 2012 2:55 am

    Ye Olde Rog wrote:tidy it up a bit lad!

    shush up grandad at least he is trying!
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    T.B
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    Re: Daddy's Guide to the Internet

    Post  T.B on Sat Apr 14, 2012 2:58 am

    Sherrers wrote:2. This Husky is annoyed at being disturbed in his office with yet more news of your misbehaviour, lack of commitment to the job and the simple fact of your being there...again. You're not just letting him down, the company down and all your colleagues...you're letting yourself down.



    you HAD to be a clever dick and do your own.

    you are SO predictable.

    lucky for you it make me hoot. Laughing
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    RvZ
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    Re: Daddy's Guide to the Internet

    Post  RvZ on Sat Apr 14, 2012 4:45 am

    I have to work late today.

    For a real dog not dissimilar to that one.
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    Bishop
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    Re: Daddy's Guide to the Internet

    Post  Bishop on Sat Apr 14, 2012 5:24 am

    RvZ wrote:I have to work late today.

    For a real dog not dissimilar to that one.

    Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing
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    Sherrers
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    Re: Daddy's Guide to the Internet

    Post  Sherrers on Sat Apr 14, 2012 9:58 pm

    This is all the sweeter because she just isn't joking.

    Look into the eyes.

    There is no joy there. Only an image of herself. Wearing bogroll.

    http://www.ninakatchadourian.com/photography/sa-flemish.php
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    Sherrers
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    Re: Daddy's Guide to the Internet

    Post  Sherrers on Sat Apr 14, 2012 10:02 pm

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    Fandango Widewheels
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    Re: Daddy's Guide to the Internet

    Post  Fandango Widewheels on Wed Apr 18, 2012 3:17 am

    I took my first visit onto the 'dark web' last night.

    I'm convinced it's someone on a windup. Open forums where you can buy drugs and guns? What's not to like about it?
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    Sherrers
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    Re: Daddy's Guide to the Internet

    Post  Sherrers on Wed Apr 18, 2012 5:24 am

    Fandango Widewheels wrote:I took my first visit onto the 'dark web' last night.

    I'm convinced it's someone on a windup. Open forums where you can buy drugs and guns? What's not to like about it?

    ...try getting what you buy delivered.
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    Fandango Widewheels
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    Re: Daddy's Guide to the Internet

    Post  Fandango Widewheels on Wed Apr 18, 2012 5:33 am

    That's the crazy thing. There are literally thousands of people on there who have completed successful transactions. They can't all be cranks/secret agents.
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    Sherrers
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    Re: Daddy's Guide to the Internet

    Post  Sherrers on Wed Apr 18, 2012 5:38 am

    ... they say on the internet they have.

    Try and get it delivered.

    Double Dare.
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    Fandango Widewheels
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    Re: Daddy's Guide to the Internet

    Post  Fandango Widewheels on Wed Apr 18, 2012 5:41 am

    Sherrers wrote:... they say on the internet they have.

    Try and get it delivered.

    Double Dare.

    The decision on whether to give it a go actually kept me awake last night Shocked
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    Sherrers
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    Re: Daddy's Guide to the Internet

    Post  Sherrers on Wed Apr 18, 2012 5:47 am

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    Fandango Widewheels
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    Re: Daddy's Guide to the Internet

    Post  Fandango Widewheels on Wed Apr 18, 2012 5:49 am

    Okay, but keep it quiet from the CMD, she'll kill me.
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    Sherrers
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    Re: Daddy's Guide to the Internet

    Post  Sherrers on Wed Apr 18, 2012 9:49 am



    Some people are gay in space. Get over it
    Video game players can now identify their characters as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender. Which is wonderful, unless you're a sad homophobe


    Charlie Brooker. The Guardian


    Sonic The Hedgehog never wrestled with sexual identity.


    It must be awful, being a homophobe. Having to spend all that time obsessing about what gay people might be doing with their genitals. Seeing it in your mind, over and over again, in high-definition close-up. Bravely you masturbate, to make the pictures go away, but to no avail. They're seared onto your mental membranes. Every time you close your eyes, an imaginary gay man's imaginary penis rises from the murk, bowing ominously in your direction, sensing your discomfort. Laughing. Mocking. Possibly even winking. How dare they, this man and his penis? How dare they do this to you?

    Obviously you can't fight the big gay penis in your head. It has no physical form, so you can't get a grip on it, much as you'd like to. You'd love to grab it and throttle it until it splutters its last. That might bring you closure. But no. So you do the next best thing. You condemn homosexuals in the real world. Maybe if they could just stop all this "being gay" business for 10 minutes, you'd get some respite from that scary headcock. It might shrivel away completely, leaving nothing behind. Except maybe a nice bit of bum.

    No, dammit! Forget I said that! No bum either!

    Of course sometimes the act of condemning homosexuals in the real world overlaps with the imaginary realm. Over the past few weeks, games company Electronic Arts has been subjected to a letter-writing campaign from idiots outraged by its decision to allow players to define their characters as gay in a Star Wars game. The Florida Family Association says, "children and teens, who never thought any way but heterosexual, are now given a choice to be lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender" – adding that even if they chose to be straight, they would still "be forced to deal with lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender characters chosen by other players". Personal choice and co-operation: two appalling threats to our youth.

    They also claim "there were no LGBT characters in any of the Star Wars movies". I don't know which wacky re-cut version of Star Wars they've been watching, but I saw the original when I was about six years old and even then I was struck by how outrageously camp C3PO is. He was a gilded John Inman in space. And what about Luke Skywalker? Apart from briefly kissing his own sister, he shows no interest in women whatsoever. The first film is a tender gay parable in which Luke falls in love with Alec Guinness and gradually "comes out" as a Jedi. The final scene oozes symbolism: having penetrated the Death Star's trench in his phallic spacecraft, he closes his eyes, submits to his true inner instinct and triumphantly blasts his X-Wing's seed into an anus-like aperture, causing an orgasmic eruption that changes his universe for ever. It's hard to see how they could make Star Wars any gayer, unless they gave the Millennium Falcon a handlebar moustache.

    But hang on, some of you are saying, this is a video game we're talking about. Isn't this gay content a bit shoehorned in? Sonic the Hedgehog never agonised over his sexual identity. He was too busy sprinting through a rainbow-coloured landscape leaping at rings. True, but that was in 1991 – which in "technology years" was about nine millennia ago. It's like comparing a cave painting with a surround-sound 3D movie. EA's Star Wars title in question is an MMORPG or massively multiplayer online role-playing game with more than a million subscribers: real people playing and interacting with each other in real-time, and hey, statistically, at least three of those people are going to be gay. The least you can do is let them reflect that in the characters they pick.

    But wait: there's even more gay content in another EA space epic, Mass Effect 3, which to the uninitiated is a bit like playing through an entire Star Trek boxset. It's bold space hokum and it's great fun – and just like Star Trek, it includes a range of potential love interests for the main character. Previous Mass Effect titles have let you play as a woman and – gasp – seduce other women: this final instalment is the first to give players the option playing a man who woos men. Play your cards right (or play your dialogue tree options right) throughout hours of gameplay and you'll be rewarded with a short, chaste love scene in which two bare-chested men kiss and cuddle in bed.

    Players have complained bitterly about the ending of Mass Effect 3 – not because of the potential for homosexual love, but because they found the narrative underwhelming. The game has a variety of different endings, depending on your decisions: some have moaned that none of the possible endings are happy or satisfying enough. In fact, they've moaned so much, EA has hastily released an additional ending free-of-charge, so these players can experience "further closure".

    I can't work out if that's depressing or sweet. On the one hand, they're spoiled little emperors with a mind-boggling sense of entitlement: it's one thing to be disappointed by the end of a story, but another to demand the author sits down and writes you a new one RIGHT NOW. You need "further closure"? What's wrong with you? But on the other hand, it's a sign that players sometimes invest so much of themselves into the characters they play, they care about them to a degree that should make any author jealous. Sneerers will doubtless leave comments about "saddoes" and "shut-ins", oblivious that by doing so, they too are playing a character in an immense MMORPG called the internet. Face it: you've even chosen a nickname and an avatar just to join in.

    Allowing players to identify their characters as homosexual isn't, as the anti-gay campaigners claim, a tokenistic novelty, but an unavoidable consequence of the fascinating evolution of video games. Not that there's much point explaining that to them. They don't believe in evolution either. And they wouldn't hear you anyway over the thunderous roar of dicks screaming for ever in their frightened mind's ear.
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    Bishop
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    Re: Daddy's Guide to the Internet

    Post  Bishop on Wed Apr 18, 2012 5:46 pm

    Sherrers wrote:This is all the sweeter because she just isn't joking.

    Look into the eyes.

    There is no joy there. Only an image of herself. Wearing bogroll.

    http://www.ninakatchadourian.com/photography/sa-flemish.php

    Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing

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    Fandango Widewheels
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    Re: Daddy's Guide to the Internet

    Post  Fandango Widewheels on Wed Apr 18, 2012 6:17 pm

    Modern Warfare just won't be the same for you will it Tim as your character goes sashaying down Kandahar High street taking out the Taliban?
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    Sherrers
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    Re: Daddy's Guide to the Internet

    Post  Sherrers on Wed Apr 18, 2012 9:59 pm

    I'd like the opportunity to choose though Mark.
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    Fandango Widewheels
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    Re: Daddy's Guide to the Internet

    Post  Fandango Widewheels on Wed Apr 18, 2012 10:09 pm

    Sherrers wrote:I'd like the opportunity to choose though Mark.

    REVOLUTIONARY!

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