Favourite Insults

What's yours?

A bloke I used to work with referred to the slacker of our trainees as "thick as a horses cock". I like that and use it occasionally.

I also know a bloke who we christened "Feltcher" as his surname was Fletcher. "Nah then Feltcher" or "oi Feltcher" were initially insults but over time became his adopted name.

It's not an insult, but I love this phrase: Standing out like a sore twat. I always forget to say it though...

Sorry to hijack this thread with something half related/ baked. As you were, back to the insults.

That's fine Andrella. It's a lovely turn of phrase!!

We could open the thread up to that and maybe retorts too? Let's see what we get......

Walter is a firm fav of mine.

"Sod off you massive Walter"

Bishop wrote:Walter is a firm fav of mine.

"Sod off you massive Walter"

thats rubbish mate

Eat my shorts wookie.

I'm not one to throw out insults so can't really contribute to this thread.

MarkD77 wrote:I'm not one to throw out insults so can't really contribute to this thread.

haha i bet you do when at 3:45 on a saturday when leeds are losing

Come on Mark, let out the beast inside.............

I was once called a "dirty little arab" by a neighbour for picking up their cat by it's tail. I was only about 5 though. You wouldn't get such an un pc insult these days. That was a common insult round my way at the time too.

you fucking mollusc

mope

you total nimrod

When i was in notting hill the other weekend a gang of kids shouted "oi mitchell" at me

I,m hoping it was Grant they were referring too,and not his crack addled brother,or though to be honest they could of been right

I was once in Mint and a girl walked past, then doubled back, pointed at me and said 'Steve McFadden'.

Not a high point of my life, i must admit.

I share your pain brother

Broadhead wrote:I was once in Mint and a girl walked past, then doubled back, pointed at me and said 'Steve McFadden'.

Not a high point of my life, i must admit.

I'll need a picture and a potted biog to understand.

My friends dad once got really pissed of with someone whilst driving, wound down his window, extended his middle finger (like ET) and yelled 'fuck you pumper'. You can imagined the hilarity this caused.

Anything said by Malcolm Tucker. There must be a list online...

tim and I had a telethon vote on the best Tuckerisms a while back.

the vote was split between "He's as useless as a marzipan dildo!"

and

"I've never seen anyone look so fucking ugly with just one head"

I'm rubbish at insults by the why. I can't even swear in public.

true fact

My insults tend to be very personal, so they don't really work on a forum.

I like "strumpet" for a lady of loose morals.

A kid in my class was once called "a waste of human tissue" by the science teacher which caused everyone to piss themselves.

I'm still very fond of 'muppet'.

Right, I've remembered a good insult I use a lot: "dickwad".

dickwad havent heard that one in ages

Also, "batshit mental" - more of an affectionate term for nutters than a hard hitting insult though.

Pillock.

prentaghast wrote:Pillock.

Good shout.

'Nobber' I use a lot. I'm also pretty tradional, you can't beat a good 'dickhead' when it's called for.

along the lines of mental

we use radgey back home, which i like

I used to call mates of mine "cock watchers" though none of them were really.