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    Embarrassing Moments

    Bishop
    Bishop
    vvwi

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    Post  Bishop on Fri Oct 30, 2009 11:34 pm

    Token Bird wrote:
    Al wrote:Seconded!

    Thirded!

    Is Gem only going to visit us when she is rat arsed though?

    Very Happy

    Yes Gem?

    Embarrassing Story time.

    I once decided to play a nasty trick on my friend having been out boozing at our local.
    He had to walk a good mile or so home down some very dark spooky tracks through some woods. Now i know he was not too fussed about doing this as he told me he had run most of the way home last time having heard some strange noises and there had also been reports of a large cat spotted in the area.

    So he leaves the pub about 10ish and sets off on his merry way. Being the good friend i am i decide (to the pubs delight) to follow behind him and then sneak down the canal path which runs along side where he is walking and get in front of him and jump out.

    So I set off down the canal. I would just point out that i am very pissed. So im jogging down the canal bank to where i think he will be and i decide to text him as im pretty sure i will hear his phone go off and then i will know whether im in front or behind him.

    Im texting with one eye shut and jogging on the narrow canal path which is pitch black and next thing i know im underwater. i must have veered slightly too far right and walked staright off the canal path, head first straight into the bastard canal. Fucking almighty splash, ducks and geese go flying everywhere cos ive landed in middle of them all and they make a right racket. Im like duncan goodhew now doing breaststroke, phone still in my hand wondering what the fuck happened. Anyway i drag myself out covered in weed and mud and general shite and splosh my way back through the village looking like swamp thing and head to my house.

    And its at that point that i remember my ma has the house keys and she is in the pub. Fucking cakes had a reet laugh at me when i had to go in and ask for the house keys.

    On a side note my mate had heard the splash and commotion of the ducks and shit himself anyway and legged it all the way home. So it worked in a round about way.
    Jnr DJ
    Jnr DJ
    vvwi

    Number of posts : 1080
    Location : Sarf London

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    Post  Jnr DJ on Fri Oct 30, 2009 11:40 pm

    Bishop wrote:
    Token Bird wrote:
    Al wrote:Seconded!

    Thirded!

    Is Gem only going to visit us when she is rat arsed though?

    Very Happy

    Yes Gem?

    Embarrassing Story time.

    I once decided to play a nasty trick on my friend having been out boozing at our local.
    He had to walk a good mile or so home down some very dark spooky tracks through some woods. Now i know he was not too fussed about doing this as he told me he had run most of the way home last time having heard some strange noises and there had also been reports of a large cat spotted in the area.

    Do you mean a cat like this :
    Embarrassing Moments - Page 2 Black-10

    or a cat like this?
    Embarrassing Moments - Page 2 Cute-k10

    ah quality mate! sort of Hallowen vibe too! that is brilliant it made my day.
    Bishop
    Bishop
    vvwi

    Number of posts : 4488
    Location : Blyth (nr doncatraz).

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    Post  Bishop on Fri Oct 30, 2009 11:41 pm

    Jnr DJ wrote:
    Bishop wrote:
    Token Bird wrote:
    Al wrote:Seconded!

    Thirded!

    Is Gem only going to visit us when she is rat arsed though?

    Very Happy

    Yes Gem?

    Embarrassing Story time.

    I once decided to play a nasty trick on my friend having been out boozing at our local.
    He had to walk a good mile or so home down some very dark spooky tracks through some woods. Now i know he was not too fussed about doing this as he told me he had run most of the way home last time having heard some strange noises and there had also been reports of a large cat spotted in the area.

    Do you mean a cat like this :
    Embarrassing Moments - Page 2 Black-10

    or a cat like this?
    Embarrassing Moments - Page 2 Cute-k10

    ah quality mate! sort of Hallowen vibe too! that is brilliant it made my day.

    Hahahaha. Top one, I think.
    elrusto
    elrusto
    vw

    Number of posts : 364
    Location : Leeds

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    Post  elrusto on Sat Oct 31, 2009 12:50 am

    Bishop wrote:
    Token Bird wrote:
    Al wrote:Seconded!

    Thirded!

    Is Gem only going to visit us when she is rat arsed though?

    Very Happy

    Yes Gem?

    Embarrassing Story time.

    I once decided to play a nasty trick on my friend having been out boozing at our local.
    He had to walk a good mile or so home down some very dark spooky tracks through some woods. Now i know he was not too fussed about doing this as he told me he had run most of the way home last time having heard some strange noises and there had also been reports of a large cat spotted in the area.

    So he leaves the pub about 10ish and sets off on his merry way. Being the good friend i am i decide (to the pubs delight) to follow behind him and then sneak down the canal path which runs along side where he is walking and get in front of him and jump out.

    So I set off down the canal. I would just point out that i am very pissed. So im jogging down the canal bank to where i think he will be and i decide to text him as im pretty sure i will hear his phone go off and then i will know whether im in front or behind him.

    Im texting with one eye shut and jogging on the narrow canal path which is pitch black and next thing i know im underwater. i must have veered slightly too far right and walked staright off the canal path, head first straight into the bastard canal. Fucking almighty splash, ducks and geese go flying everywhere cos ive landed in middle of them all and they make a right racket. Im like duncan goodhew now doing breaststroke, phone still in my hand wondering what the fuck happened. Anyway i drag myself out covered in weed and mud and general shite and splosh my way back through the village looking like swamp thing and head to my house.

    And its at that point that i remember my ma has the house keys and she is in the pub. Fucking cakes had a reet laugh at me when i had to go in and ask for the house keys.

    On a side note my mate had heard the splash and commotion of the ducks and shit himself anyway and legged it all the way home. So it worked in a round about way.

    Ha ha haa! Great stuff mate...
    jim_kezzle
    jim_kezzle
    Moderator

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    Post  jim_kezzle on Sat Oct 31, 2009 1:34 am

    hahaha brilliant, comedy gold
    shAdy
    shAdy
    vvw

    Number of posts : 521
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    Post  shAdy on Sat Oct 31, 2009 2:36 am

    Bish that is award-winning!
    Bishop
    Bishop
    vvwi

    Number of posts : 4488
    Location : Blyth (nr doncatraz).

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    Post  Bishop on Sat Oct 31, 2009 2:45 am

    shAdy wrote:Bish that is award-winning!

    Hahaha. Cheers people.

    To finish it all off my dad hosed me down in the garden before i was allowed in the house. Double humiliation. Very Happy
    Ben
    Ben
    vvwi

    Number of posts : 752
    Location : London

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    Post  Ben on Sat Oct 31, 2009 3:32 am

    Bish, hats off to that story. When I read it I could picture every moment like a film. I feel your pain. lol!
    Sherrers
    Sherrers
    Admin

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    Location : the internet

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    Post  Sherrers on Tue Apr 13, 2010 4:03 am

    In tesco today some kids were tittering at me. It's usually the beard/tache/whatever but this time it I overheard that it was 'cos instead of my glasses holding my hair out my face I have in fact been using the free 3D specs I got from 'Avatar'.

    They have been in my hair for about a month now. I have been to gigs, airports, churches and one date with a woman with them in my barnet.

    Embarassed

    I think the backs of sofas, on top of your head and the singularity of a black hole are the places in the universe it is easiest to lose something. Especially your dignity.
    crang
    crang
    vvw

    Number of posts : 687
    Location : strong island southsea

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    Post  crang on Tue Apr 13, 2010 4:10 am

    Sherrers wrote:In tesco today some kids were tittering at me. It's usually the beard/tache/whatever but this time it I overheard that it was 'cos instead of my glasses holding my hair out my face I have in fact been using the free 3D specs I got from 'Avatar'.

    They have been in my hair for about a month now. I have been to gigs, airports, churches and one date with a woman with them in my barnet.

    Embarassed

    I think the backs of sofas, on top of your head and the singularity of a black hole are the places in the universe it is easiest to lose something. Especially your dignity.


    Laughing Laughing Laughing
    crang
    crang
    vvw

    Number of posts : 687
    Location : strong island southsea

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    Post  crang on Tue Apr 13, 2010 4:11 am

    Bishop wrote:
    Token Bird wrote:
    Al wrote:Seconded!

    Thirded!

    Is Gem only going to visit us when she is rat arsed though?

    Very Happy

    Yes Gem?

    Embarrassing Story time.

    I once decided to play a nasty trick on my friend having been out boozing at our local.
    He had to walk a good mile or so home down some very dark spooky tracks through some woods. Now i know he was not too fussed about doing this as he told me he had run most of the way home last time having heard some strange noises and there had also been reports of a large cat spotted in the area.

    So he leaves the pub about 10ish and sets off on his merry way. Being the good friend i am i decide (to the pubs delight) to follow behind him and then sneak down the canal path which runs along side where he is walking and get in front of him and jump out.

    So I set off down the canal. I would just point out that i am very pissed. So im jogging down the canal bank to where i think he will be and i decide to text him as im pretty sure i will hear his phone go off and then i will know whether im in front or behind him.

    Im texting with one eye shut and jogging on the narrow canal path which is pitch black and next thing i know im underwater. i must have veered slightly too far right and walked staright off the canal path, head first straight into the bastard canal. Fucking almighty splash, ducks and geese go flying everywhere cos ive landed in middle of them all and they make a right racket. Im like duncan goodhew now doing breaststroke, phone still in my hand wondering what the fuck happened. Anyway i drag myself out covered in weed and mud and general shite and splosh my way back through the village looking like swamp thing and head to my house.

    And its at that point that i remember my ma has the house keys and she is in the pub. Fucking cakes had a reet laugh at me when i had to go in and ask for the house keys.

    On a side note my mate had heard the splash and commotion of the ducks and shit himself anyway and legged it all the way home. So it worked in a round about way.

    Ace! Laughing Laughing
    Broadhead
    Broadhead
    vvwi

    Number of posts : 3637

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    Post  Broadhead on Tue Apr 13, 2010 5:21 am

    I've just howled at that.

    Laughing
    Son of Nod
    Son of Nod
    vvwi

    Number of posts : 4046
    Location : In a Box

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    Post  Son of Nod on Tue Apr 13, 2010 5:31 am

    Sherrers wrote:
    Son of Nod wrote:I've never had an embarrassing moment....ever.....does that mean, I am normal... Embarassed


    well I am not a real doctor but I would say that you are either ;

    a) incapable of being embarrassed
    b) unable to realise when you have been embarrassing to yourself or others
    c) a massive liar

    none of the above are normal in any way.


    you are well odd son of nod Very Happy

    Aaaaaaahhhhh...just seen this....think I must be either A or B...or both. Laughing
    crang
    crang
    vvw

    Number of posts : 687
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    Post  crang on Wed Apr 14, 2010 12:00 am

    Ok,here we go!

    'THE SHIRT STORY'

    Many moons ago, when i was young free and single,i was out one night, on the razz, Razz with a few muckers

    We finally, after a few pubs went to our local discotque,where the usual meeting of females was the aim/ultimate goal

    Anway,i met this girl called Donna there(not her real name,i have protected the innocent/guilty),we got on great!,and to cut a very long story short she invited me back to her flat! Very Happy

    Whilst there she had brought her girlfriends back aswell,they took great delight in warning me that she was on and off with her ex boyfriend the local hardman/phycopath,who was currently residing at her majestys pleasure,but was getting out the following week! affraid ,not good,i stayed for a beer then quickly made my excuses and left

    The following week i had forgoten all about that night,but then my flat mate at the time came home from work and asked me if i was involved with a
    girl called Donna?(oh shite!,i thought),i said no, but admitted that i had met her on a night out and had been to her flat briefly,but left because she
    had a boyfriend

    My mate then proceeded to tell me that her boyfriend, who he knew from another aquaintence,was out of prison,and had found out about me being at her place,and was indeed
    an absolute nutter,and was looking for me in a car with a machete!!!! affraid No

    Apart from leaving the area,there wasnt a lot i could do,so i thought if this guy catches up with me i,ll just have to deal with it,i hadn,t done
    anything wrong,but try telling that to the local equivalent of kenneth knoye!

    So anyway,i,m sat in my local on a sunny saturday afternoon(it,s not hard to find me),and all of a sudden this guy walks in the pub,i,d never seen
    him before,huge muscular build, tattoos on his neck face etc,he sits at the bar on his own looking around,he has a pint then walks up to me! affraid
    i am now worried,is this the phycopath thats after me?(the pub is quite busy by the way,and everyone is staring at the situation)

    So this guy says to me "it,s john isnt it?,"i go yeah it is",he then goes "did you sleep with my girlfiend Donna",i say "no mate i didnt touch her,honestly"
    He then says to me(and i,m crapping it now,and everyone in the pub is looking and its all gone quiet)

    "DONT WORRY MATE","I,M NOT GOING TO HIT ANYONE THAT WEARS A SHIRT LIKE THAT",

    He then bursts out laughing at me along with the rest of the pub,and walks out!

    And that was that,total humiliation of my attire,yet total relief of my wellbeing! Smile

    I may also add that i pulled my wife in this shirt,so it holds a special place in my heart and wardrobe

    And here it is,just for you lot Smile
    crang
    crang
    vvw

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    Post  crang on Wed Apr 14, 2010 12:04 am

    Embarrassing Moments - Page 2 13042011


    Last edited by crang on Wed Apr 14, 2010 12:10 am; edited 3 times in total
    wookie
    wookie
    vvwi

    Number of posts : 4123
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    Post  wookie on Wed Apr 14, 2010 12:04 am

    hahaha

    you could imagine the local news headline

    shirt saves man, turn to page 7 for more
    RvZ
    RvZ
    vvvwi

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    Post  RvZ on Wed Apr 14, 2010 12:08 am

    crang wrote:Embarrassing Moments - Page 2 C:\Users\john\Pictures\13042010061

    didn't work!

    MUST SEE THE MAGIC SHIRT!
    T.B
    T.B
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    Post  T.B on Wed Apr 14, 2010 12:09 am

    Laughing Laughing Laughing

    oh Crraangg!

    you are a one.
    crang
    crang
    vvw

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    Post  crang on Wed Apr 14, 2010 12:11 am

    Have now put it up! Smile
    Broadhead
    Broadhead
    vvwi

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    Post  Broadhead on Wed Apr 14, 2010 12:12 am

    And was this Donna sort worth taking a kicking for? Was she Donna D'Errico or more Donna kebab?
    T.B
    T.B
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    Post  T.B on Wed Apr 14, 2010 12:13 am

    crang wrote:Embarrassing Moments - Page 2 13042011

    magic!!

    cyclops
    Ye Olde Rog
    Ye Olde Rog
    vvwi

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    Post  Ye Olde Rog on Wed Apr 14, 2010 12:14 am

    crang wrote:Have now put it up! Smile

    or it could be said; lifted it.


    Very Happy
    Broadhead
    Broadhead
    vvwi

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    Post  Broadhead on Wed Apr 14, 2010 12:15 am

    Token Bird wrote:
    crang wrote:Embarrassing Moments - Page 2 13042011

    Tragic!!

    cyclops
    crang
    crang
    vvw

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    Post  crang on Wed Apr 14, 2010 12:17 am

    Broadhead wrote:And was this Donna sort worth taking a kicking for? Was she Donna D'Errico or more Donna kebab?

    She was actually very nice,and i was chuffed with my achievement that night,it was too good to be true Laughing
    Broadhead
    Broadhead
    vvwi

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    Post  Broadhead on Wed Apr 14, 2010 12:19 am

    If you would have known your shirt was magic you could have had rudies with her and gotten away with it.
    crang
    crang
    vvw

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    Post  crang on Wed Apr 14, 2010 12:21 am

    I must add,i would never wear this shirt again! Embarassed

    I was fashionably confused at the time

    Obviously! Laughing
    T.B
    T.B
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    Post  T.B on Wed Apr 14, 2010 12:22 am

    If you would have known your shirt was magic you could have had rudies with her and gotten away with it.

    Rudies Laughing

    If he did I think the ex con may have adjusted his rules about not murdering a bad shirted romeo.

    And adjusted Crraangg!
    crang
    crang
    vvw

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    Post  crang on Wed Apr 14, 2010 12:31 am

    Token Bird wrote:
    If you would have known your shirt was magic you could have had rudies with her and gotten away with it.

    Rudies Laughing

    If he did I think the ex con may have adjusted his rules about not murdering a bad shirted romeo.

    And adjusted Crraangg!

    Later in life i was not so lucky with the adjustments Crying or Very sad

    But thats another story.............
    shAdy
    shAdy
    vvw

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    Post  shAdy on Wed Apr 14, 2010 12:35 am

    Sherrers wrote:.
    one date with a woman with them in my barnet.


    A real one...?
    Sherrers
    Sherrers
    Admin

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    Post  Sherrers on Wed Apr 14, 2010 3:13 am

    No an imaginary one. I thought it was a 'date' and she didn't, it transpires.
    I blame the 3D specs.


    Crraangg!

    Very Happy


    You should have said to this godzilla after he went :

    godzilla : "I couldn't hit a bloke in shirt like that"

    craaanggg! : "Ok mate. No need to get shirty really is there? as you can see I have that taken care of."

    and then bottled him and legged it.

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